The First Ten Teachings of Mojo

1. One shall not raise one's fist in anger against another unless that other can sufficiently be shown to need an ass whippin.

2. The killing of another is wrong as long as that other isn't ruining everyone's good time.

3. Seeking peace, love and happiness through the use of controlled substances is the path of the wise man.

4. It takes a big man to cry and a bigger man to laugh at that man.

5. Freedom for the righteous, enslavement for the masters.

6. To grow old disgracefully should be one's sole ambition in life.

7. Earth, our mother, is our protector and keeper. She is also a real bitch sometimes.

8. Death is inevitable. To learn happiness, one must never fear death.

9. The love of money is the root of all evil. Free yourself from this awful burden by passing your burdens unto me.

10. If you crush your competition to better yourself, you have succeeded where they have failed.