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boycotteverything
04-10-2010, 12:04 PM
This latest by Fred Reed. A soldier's tale.

A Grand Adventure


by Fred Reed (http://www.fredoneverything.net/)
by Fred Reed
Recently by Fred Reed: Halloween Comes to the Subways (http://www.lewrockwell.com/reed/reed176.html)


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He grew up in the woods and rivers of the county, fishing and swimming and hunting under sprawling blue skies and driving his rattletrap car insanely and lying on the moss with his girl and watching the branches above groping the sky and marveling as the young do at the strangeness of life, and the war came in a far country. It doesn’t matter which. It was just a country.
His father, an angry man emitting the foul stench of patriotism, said his duty was to become a soldier and kill whoever it was in the far country, wherever it was. His father didn’t know or much care. It didn’t matter. Somebody would know. A man’s gotta do what a man’s gotta do. It would be a grand adventure, an uncle said.
He enlisted. In the aching humid heat of a hot state he drew toothpaste and seven-eighty-two gear and green clothes from supply and learned to march in squares while a sergeant said Lef-rye-lef-rye-lef. He felt the sense of power and invincibility that comes of rhythmic camaraderie with thudding boots. He learned to use grenades and flamethrowers and the proper placement of a bayonet in a kidney. He learned obedience and various forms of likely suicide, but it was for his country, dulce et decorum est, and he sang fierce cadences on the march. If I die on the Russian front, bury me with a Russian cunt, lef-rye-lef-rye-lef-rye-lef. It was a grand adventure, calling to a young male’s desperation to defy existence, to cross the mountains, to see the dragon, to overcome. The colonels at Training Command had calculated this nicely.

He felt the romance and variety and absurdity that men love in the military in time of peace, and collected the stories that soldiers tell in bars. See, we was in TJ at the Blue Fox, and Murphy was getting a lap dance from this senorita with frigging water-melon tits, I mean those hangers just wouldn’t quit, and this owl flies in, some kind of freaking bird anyway, and she screams and falls on Murphy and… He felt the freedom of being away from the county, in wild bars nobody back home had ever heard of. It was the life.
Then he was on the late-night tarmac of the airfield, staging out for the remote country of which he knew nothing. Wind swirled and jet wash smelled of aviation kerosene and he was fit and hardly noticed the weight of his pack. Heavies roared in and out, taking troops. He savored a new phrase, FMF WesPac. Fleet Marine Force Western Pacific, alive with hormonal appeals of armies on the march, of foreign legions and Marcus Aurelius on the Rhine-Danube line, though he had never heard of the man, and he was part of huge events happening in the night.



On the first day in-country he went to his posting in the remote land, in a convoy of open six-bys. The heat and strange people along the road exhilarated him and he was really, truly out of the county and he took it all in with wide eyes and the mine went off under the lead truck and the driver landed screaming by the road, his legs gone. Mines do that. Marines ran to him and said Jesus, oh Jesus. Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck. Get a corpsman. Oh shit. Oh Jesus. The screaming stopped, that being the nature of femoral arteries.
Three months passed. He now hated the people of the remote country, though he still knew nothing of it. Soldiers hate. He killed some enemy soldiers and some who may have been enemy soldiers and then some he knew weren’t but who were in the wrong place after his platoon took casualties from a sniper. It didn’t affect him, not that he knew. Dead people were just dead people, so what. He hated the scuttling cockroaches anyway. Light’em up. Light’em all up. Let God sort’em out. He had never heard of the Albigensians, but soldiers vary little.
One day the platoon approached a town and a sniper fired at them. “Light’em up” said the lieutenant, who hated the locals. Ten minutes later thirty-seven villagers were dead and the reporter who had been there got pictures of it all. They appeared around the world. The platoon didn’t know why they were being picked on. If villagers didn’t want to get shot, they shouldn’t let heavily armed insurgents come into their village. At a thousand legion halls, members said war is war, people get hurt. You gotta expect it. The press are wimps, comsymps, unrealistic idealists. We need to unleash the troops, let them win.

Officers, knowing that reporters were the most dangerous of their enemies, said that it hadn’t happened, that the enemy had really done it, that it was an isolated incident, and that there would be an investigation. The commanding general in what interestingly was called “the theater” had presidential aspirations, and so sacrificed the lieutenant, who eventually received three months house arrest.
The soldier from the county almost made it. He was approaching PCOD, Pussy Cut-off Date, determined by the germination time of gonorrhea, when his truck hit the mine. Nothing new here. Men in agony, exposed bone, crushed lungs, and the dying crying out for the trinity of the badly wounded, mother wife, and water. This time the soldier from the county was half gutted.
It was a grand adventure, though.
On the ward where they removed a length of his intestines, he saw many things. He saw the soldier with his jaw shot away who fed through a tube in his nose. He watched a high-school girl of seventeen from Tennessee as she saw her betrothed, stone blind, his face a hideous porridge that would gag a maggot.
Johnny…Johnny...oh Johnny.
He left the hospital with a colostomy bag and instructions never to eat anything he liked. Women do not like colostomy bags, so he had time on his hands. He read. He thought. He came to hate, to hate with a shuddering intensity that unnerved his friends, who learned not to talk about the war. Like soldiers since before time existed, he learned that the war was not about the noble things it was supposed to be about, God and country and democracy, but about money, power, contracts, and the egos of the men who, on the principle that shit floats, always rise to the top. For the rest of his life, he would really, truly, want to kill.
He had come a long way from the county. It had been a grand adventure.

April 10, 2010
Fred Reed is author of Nekkid in Austin: Drop Your Inner Child Down a Well (http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0595237134/lewrockwell/) and A Brass Pole in Bangkok: A Thing I Aspire to Be (http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/059539390X?ie=UTF8&tag=lewrockwell&linkCode=xm2&camp=1789&creativeASIN=059539390X). His latest book is Curmudgeing Through Paradise: Reports from a Fractal Dung Beetle (http://www.amazon.com/dp/0595443745?tag=lewrockwell&camp=14573&creative=327641&linkCode=as1&creativeASIN=0595443745&adid=12N3JSTQ37G8CW10BKZ8&). Visit his blog (http://www.fredoneverything.net/).

Copyright © 2010 Fred Reed

skunk
04-10-2010, 12:07 PM
I thought you were ip banned?

boycotteverything
04-10-2010, 12:09 PM
I was. But I guess you were embarrassed by your petty bullshit, eh?

Chorlton
04-10-2010, 12:09 PM
I dont think theres a spoon big enough for you skunk

Pam
04-10-2010, 12:10 PM
I was. But I guess you were embarrassed by your petty bullshit, eh?

Welcome back BE.... you were missed yesterday :D

skunk
04-10-2010, 12:11 PM
Screenshot or it never happened bitch.

http://amkon.net/attachment.php?attachmentid=658&d=1270765370

boycotteverything
04-10-2010, 12:11 PM
Hi Pam. Thanks. Read that Fred Reed essay- it's an amazing piece of poetry.

skunk
04-10-2010, 12:13 PM
I was. But I guess you were embarrassed by your petty bullshit, eh?

Stop lying, I can screenshot the logs too.

You were never ip banned.

MrPenny
04-10-2010, 12:15 PM
:nuts2:

boycotteverything
04-10-2010, 12:17 PM
listen Bryce or Gavin or whatever your fucking name is- truth is truth. you're a petty little highschool drop-out who gets his kicks by harassing members. as far as i'm concerned you can eat shit.

skunk
04-10-2010, 12:22 PM
So you insist you were ip banned, yet have no proof, whereas I can offer screenshots to the contrary?

Ok, let's see you claimed you were banned around 2pm or so on the 8th?

Here's a screenshot of the logs from before and after.

I don't see anything mentioning a ban, do you?

Notice the numbers on the left side? Those are each action taken in the ACP.

None are missing.

http://amkon.net/attachment.php?attachmentid=661&stc=1&d=1270912913

http://amkon.net/attachment.php?attachmentid=660&stc=1&d=1270912908

Alessandra
04-10-2010, 12:22 PM
For being a "mature" adult, you cry more than a preschooler, BE. Grow some testicular fortitude for once and stop blaming others for your failings.

boycotteverything
04-10-2010, 12:23 PM
For being a "mature" adult, you cry more than a preeschooler, BE. Grow some testicular fortitude for one and stop blaming others for your failings.another fucking genius heard from.

Pam
04-10-2010, 12:23 PM
Hi Pam. Thanks. Read that Fred Reed essay- it's an amazing piece of poetry.

Okay, read it, poetry?? Sad really!

Alessandra
04-10-2010, 12:24 PM
I'm not the one who makes baseless, ignorant statements and accusations

boycotteverything
04-10-2010, 12:25 PM
Okay, read it, poetry?? Sad really!Very sad. And very true.

skunk
04-10-2010, 12:26 PM
Just trying to stir up more drama.

Alessandra
04-10-2010, 12:28 PM
I Better stop feeding the drama queen troll

skunk
04-10-2010, 12:29 PM
We could all put him on ignore and he won't be able to post in any of our threads.

That'd sure piss him off.

boycotteverything
04-10-2010, 12:31 PM
You've done that many times already. Do what you want.

Chorlton
04-10-2010, 12:32 PM
We could all put him on ignore and he won't be able to post in any of our threads.
.

Then again we could all do the same for you?

skunk
04-10-2010, 12:32 PM
So how's that apology coming?

iSorry or iQuit. Shit or get off the pot.

Pam
04-10-2010, 12:33 PM
Here's the thing... if you know what you say is correct, you really don't need to justify it to others... be happy that you know yourself what the truth is, and move on :D

Chorlton
04-10-2010, 12:34 PM
Probably the same time you apologise to me skunk ?

skunk
04-10-2010, 12:34 PM
Pam, being accused of banning someone when you didn't is not something I take lightly.

Also I apparently posted child pornography?

Chorlton, I am sorry if I ever made fun of you or claimed you said something you didn't.

I'm wrong quite often, and not afraid to admit it.

Chorlton
04-10-2010, 12:35 PM
Here's the thing... if you know what you say is correct, you really don't need to justify it to others... be happy that you know yourself what the truth is, and move on :D

Whenever I post anything, I really dont give a fuck if anyone believes it or not. So long as I am happy with it thats all that matters.

Alessandra
04-10-2010, 12:35 PM
We could all put him on ignore and he won't be able to post in any of our threads.

That'd sure piss him off.

Leaves him to cry on facebook...like those emo kids...

Hey BE, I have a hairstyle for you!

Pam
04-10-2010, 12:35 PM
What have I got to do to make you love me
What have I got to do to make you care
What do I do when lightning strikes me
And I wake to find that you're not there
What do I do to make you want me
What have I got to do to be heard
What do I say when it's all over
And sorry seems to be the hardest word
It's sad, so sad
It's a sad, sad situation
And it's getting more and more absurd
It's sad, so sad
Why can't we talk it over
Oh it seems to me
That sorry seems to be the hardest word
What do I do to make you love me
What have I got to do to be heard
What do I do when lightning strikes me
What have I got to do
What have I got to do
When sorry seems to be the hardest word

Pam
04-10-2010, 12:36 PM
Whenever I post anything, I really dont give a fuck if anyone believes it or not. So long as I am happy with it thats all that matters.

Me too, and you will notice that when I am baited... I don't bite :D

Life is to short to sweat the small stuff!

Chorlton
04-10-2010, 12:37 PM
Chorlton, I am sorry if I ever made fun of you or claimed you said something you didn't.

I'm wrong quite often, and not afraid to admit it.

But its only now you apologise whilst asking for an apology from another?
Thats pretty hypocritical isnt it?

I dont give a fuck about anyone making fun of me. *I* make fun of me, but I wont have someone insinuating I said something when I didnt.

Chorlton
04-10-2010, 12:38 PM
Me too, and you will notice that when I am baited... I don't bite :D

Life is to short to sweat the small stuff!

Oh I like biting, thats fun, especially when you can see a chink in the opponents armour.

skunk
04-10-2010, 12:39 PM
You honestly think he'll apologize? He's never wrong chorlton, even when he is.

Alessandra
04-10-2010, 12:39 PM
I think only the two whining pieces of mangy dog shit will be the ones to ignore skunk.

Not naming any names or anything

Alessandra
04-10-2010, 12:39 PM
Yay for phone double posts

Chorlton
04-10-2010, 12:40 PM
I think only the two whining pieces of mangy dog shit will be the ones to ignore skunk.

Not naming any names or anything

So who you gonna be reading if you ignore skunk then ugly ?

Alessandra
04-10-2010, 12:41 PM
Well aren't you sweet.

Chorlton
04-10-2010, 12:42 PM
I like to think so, but I dont call people 'mangy dog shit'

Alessandra
04-10-2010, 12:45 PM
I like to think so, but I dont call people 'mangy dog shit'

I didn't name anyone specifically.

Pam
04-10-2010, 12:45 PM
What exactly does "mangy" look like I am wondering?

I mean, dog shit is dog shit, it's pretty nasty all on it's own.

For that matter, shit is pretty nasty no matter whos ass it comes out of :D

Chorlton
04-10-2010, 12:46 PM
I didn't name anyone specifically.
Thats irrelevant
The implication was there and was noted.

skunk
04-10-2010, 12:47 PM
I think you two would make a cute couple.

Alessandra
04-10-2010, 12:56 PM
quiet you...

Lexion
04-10-2010, 12:59 PM
Did I hear tits ?

Alessandra
04-10-2010, 01:02 PM
Lex need hearing aids...

Lexion
04-10-2010, 01:02 PM
Well, I have glasses, now.

:(

boycotteverything
04-10-2010, 01:06 PM
...and a weakness for pudgy Quick E Mart clerks with bad complexions and covered in tattoos?

MrPenny
04-10-2010, 01:07 PM
Dear lexion,

The "hook" thingys on the glasses go over the ears....not in them.

Respectfully,

MrPenny

Lexion
04-10-2010, 01:09 PM
Dear lexion,

The "hook" thingys on the glasses go over the ears....not in them.

Respectfully,

MrPenny

Thanks.

I knew I was doing something wrong.

MrPenny
04-10-2010, 01:10 PM
...and a weakness for pudgy Quick E Mart clerks with bad complexions and covered in tattoos?

Offset by a distaste for pedantic psuedo-philosophers with a shelf full of books, a reliance on old quotes and concepts, and with nary an original idea of their own.

skunk
04-10-2010, 01:12 PM
Snap!