Broken Trust

[Hazelnut]

In intimate relationships where trust is the foundation, once trust has been broken, can it be restored, if so, how.

I believe once trust is broken there is no way to fix it. There are only ways to deal with it. It can never be healed. Broken trust carries a legacy that bleeds into every relationship thereafter regardless of who is the breaker and who is the broken.

If you're the one on the receiving end, the issues that arise are huge and may last a lifetime.

If you're the one on the offending end, the issues probably don't matter or even register in your consciousness.

What do you psychology buffs have to say about repairing broken trust?

[boycotteverything]

What do you psychology buffs have to say about repairing broken trust? the power of forgiveness.

[anarch]

Trust folks be themselves. Jesus trusted juda. He knew what would happen. All the same he gave him all his trust. Because he trusted judas to do his thing. And with out judas their could be no reserecution no holy spirit....

Just thought I would through that out there with the whole forgivness thing.

BROKEN TRUST SUCKS!!! Yeah... it can heal over time.. But it aint something that fixes itself in a week or a month or even a years sometimes... Broken trust takes awhile to earn back....

IF THE BREAKER OF THE TRUST wants to Rebuild that trust then he/she must understand the nature of the fuck up and that rebuilding trust takes time. LOTS OF TIME! In fact the trust breaker should be gratful to even have the opprituinity to regain trust.

Once broken not everyone is forgiving.

[boycotteverything]

Once broken not everyone is forgiving. That's very true. But it is also true that trust can only be restored by forgiveness. The inability to forgive is the very reason that trust is so rarely restored.

[anarch]

Indeed indeed. SOmetimes forgiveness comes quick and sometimes slow.... It really depends on the offense. ... Look at how quick your faith and trust was restored in AMKON :D

lOLOLOLOL

Just to say it would not be the same thing if say ohhhh..If you got into a car wreck and the air bag did not deploy... That would be the kind of thing that mught break your trust in driveing... (Just to ise an extreme examples.... Boy my sepeling and grammar is off this morn)

[Infinite`Eternal`Forever]

In intimate relationships where trust is the foundation, once trust has been broken, can it be restored, if so, how.

I believe once trust is broken there is no way to fix it. There are only ways to deal with it. It can never be healed. Broken trust carries a legacy that bleeds into every relationship thereafter regardless of who is the breaker and who is the broken.

If you're the one on the receiving end, the issues that arise are huge and may last a lifetime.

If you're the one on the offending end, the issues probably don't matter or even register in your consciousness.

What do you psychology buffs have to say about repairing broken trust?

Make very strong commitments and adhere to them. Try and recall what behaviors fucked up the trust the first time around, so that if they re-occur you'll be able spot them as well extinguish them immediately.

Be patient and take your time. Moreover, make sure both of you are playing your part in fixing this shit up. Communicate feelings and set boundaries. If at ANY time the both of them get disrespected, kick em to the curb and move on for good this time.

[Infinite`Eternal`Forever]

DId you just say something constructive or am I hallucinating?

"I was finally able to find pearls of wisdom in some of your posts." -Your wife.

You must have missed the memo.

[anarch]

If I did it proly didn't matter. Nice words all the same.

[Mungodave]

Once the trust is gone, it is just that.

Gone.

Compassion, love, faith.


Gone.


Whats left?

In time... regret.

[Hazelnut]

It seems to me the only answer to this question is to let go of expectation of outcome.

There is expectation tied to trust.

[boycotteverything]

that smacks of the most destructive appeal to nihilism.

[Hazelnut]

because?

[boycotteverything]

because creation depends on outcomes.

[Hazelnut]

When you project your expectations onto someone else, you have created the problem.

If you give your trust, you expect it to be honored. You put expectation on the relationship and gift it with your trust.

When the trust is broken, associated expectations are the cause of the problems. I expected you to honor my trust and you broke it. Now, my trust is shattered and it is your fault.

The one breaking the trust doesn't expect to be held liable for it. When confronted, the trust breaker will blame you for your expectations.

[hp]

When confronted, the trust breaker will blame you for your expectations.

I can see that happening.

Redefine trust with that person.

[Hazelnut]

That is a good point hp. What is trust anyway? Is it blind faith. An imaginative belief. Is there a universal understanding of what trust is?

How do you stop doubting when trust is broken?

[boycotteverything]

What is trust anyway?trust is the innate dependence on the probability of outcomes. it can be expressed both mathematically and emotionally. the Philosophical term is- Ethics.

[hp]

I suppose one can assign ever increasing levels to a relationship with another person. But this would seem to be a self protective action.

In the big picture, there is or isn't. The previous is more a work around to satisfy some requirement of existing in a society that is not perfect or at least not always highly ethical.

[boycotteverything]

To me, Ethics is a thing in itself- the ideal state of all things. So when we're bringing it down to the level of convoluted 'relationships' it serves as an ideal synthesis rather than either of the moralistic positions. Life is Process after all and the 'good' should never be the enemy of the 'perfect.' However that nature of the process, itself, is 'trust' whether we see it or not. Any other conclusion is a denial of reality.

[hp]

In the end, when one's trust is failed, one can only see failure in their self for extending that trust. After all, non failure of trust is an ideal not reality of mankind. Of course, choosing wisely can make for a lonely life.

[Bitchkoma]

I usually give people a second chance if they break my trust in them.

Then you just gotta let time heal the wounds or for the trust to be broken again. If the latter happens, I feel there is no need to forgive again. What the fuck you think this is, a charity? Get the fuck outta here.

Of course, sometimes you wonder if maybe it was something on your end, your expectations or maybe your lack of foresight. That's a shitty feeling to have, though, especially when it's really not you that is at fault or if it's not within your means to control. Again time seems to be the only remedy. And faith in yourself.

[theeindiee]

Trust? Ahhhhh... trust only in liars. Honesty is the most complete lie, and the more honest a person seems, the more you should suspect that person is hiding something.

I, being of quasi-so-so-sound-ish mind and body, don't wish to know the Truth.

To hell with Because. Let's truly 100 percent believe it for no reason, other than blind robotic obedience to the beat and the melody. DANCE, PIGGIES!!!

YES WE CAN!!!! CAN DO WHAT? WHO CARES!?!?!?

Preach to me, 'Bama!!! You SWEET MOTHERFUCKER!!!

[boycotteverything]

Maybe we're being too hypothetical here. Maybe Hazel needs to be more specific. Some coalescence of events is obviously bugging her. This thread may make more sense if we're dealing in specifics. Who violated your trust? And why? What were the circumstances? Let's apply our principles to your specifics.

[theeindiee]

The world violated my trust. I still love it, but fuck if I'm gunna let it borrow my shit.

[boycotteverything]

well i gotta say- you've nailed it.

[mojo]

only trust those you know will break it, you can't be disappointed then, and if they don't break it you'll be pleasantly surprised.

[lala]

I think trust is earn't, I remember when I was 20 I went out with a guy that went to jail. He got busted with pot, lots, 36 pound, and about 10 other people were involed with. That when I learn't you trust no one, ever.
When the shit hit the fan you soon find out how few are trust worthy. :D

[Mungodave]

The world violated my trust. I still love it, but fuck if I'm gunna let it borrow my shit.


+1

[Hazelnut]

http://ihasahotdog.files.wordpress.com/2010/11/ee7bab06-11b5-4c78-acb3-3521b0f1ce50.jpg

[Trauma Teased]

So this thread was actually about a stolen cheese burger?

I can see that. Would have pissed me off too. I love cheese burgers.

[BE2]

It seems that broken trust and stolen cheeseburgers have a lot in common. Neither count for much in the grander scheme.

[Pam]

Stuff to ponder :(

[1972]

I think you are asking in the wrong place.

[BE2]

and the winner is-


What is trust anyway?

trust is the innate dependence on the probability of outcomes. it can be expressed both mathematically and emotionally. the Philosophical term is- Ethics. you can quote me on that.

[13erk0witz]

cxsH68MPo_Q

[Ima Nasshole]

Trust is an illusion, usually the product of an overacting imagination. Usually goes like this...
"Oh noooooooo! You hurt me, I trusted you... How could you do that to me... Oh boo a fucking hoooooooooo"

I'll be your friend, but keep your trust to yourself so I don't fucking hurt you when I fail or refuse to live up to your expectations!

[Trauma Teased]

I'll be your friend

Yeah, well, with your attitude, don't bother.

:p

[Ima Nasshole]

Yeah, well, with your attitude, don't bother.

:p
Where the Fuck did u pull that quote from?

[Trauma Teased]

Where the Fuck did u pull that quote from?


Eh, your post.... It's a part of it, hahaha!

[GinAndTonic]

Once the original trust, the blind faithful trust, is screwed then it stays screwed and there's nothing you can do to get it back, it's always lurking there in the back of your mind

to quote from The winter's Tale :

How blest am I
In my just censure! in my true opinion!
Alack, for lesser knowledge! how accurs'd
In being so blest! There may be in the cup
A spider steep'd, and one may drink; depart,
And yet partake no venom (for his knowledge
Is not infected), but if one present
Th' abhorr'd ingredient to his eye, make known
How he hath drunk, he cracks his gorge, his sides,
With violent hefts. I have drunk, and seen the spider.
(II.i.36-45)

"I have drunk and seen the spider" - brilliant !

After that you have negotiated trust, which is kind of scuffed round the edges but maybe more realistic

[Ima Nasshole]

Like I said, trust is an illusion created by the illusion of a friendship. It's kind of like a double illusion.

[Trauma Teased]

Like I said, trust is an illusion created by the illusion of a friendship. It's kind of like a double illusion.

I guess you have never known true friendship, then.

[Ima Nasshole]

I guess you have never known true friendship, then.

So you'll only know true friendship when someone you trust betrays you? You're right, I'll never know it!

[Trauma Teased]

So you'll only know true friendship when someone you trust betrays you? You're right, I'll never know it!

Yeah, that was what I meant....

[Ima Nasshole]

Thought so.

[Trauma Teased]

Thought so.

Profound answer.

[Moose]

Once a trust is gone, that's it......rip it off like a band-aid and move on.

[Ima Nasshole]

If you are so hurt by someone else's actions that you ponder trust on the net, you're fucking goofy! In an age when you can't even trust yourself, don't define a friendship with something as sacred as trust, trust is better left to a family member. And friends will always let you down, and if you blow them off when they do, you'll always be making friends.

[Trauma Teased]

If you are so hurt by someone else's actions that you ponder trust on the net,

To be honest I don't really understand what you mean by that. Can you clearify?

I'm kinda stoopid.

[MrPenny]

I'm kinda stoopid.

Now don't be hiding your candle.....you're a lot stoopid.
:D

[Trauma Teased]

Now don't be hiding your candle.....you're a lot stoopid.
:D

You should only know...

;)

[DocVelocity]

You make it known in abundance, my strawberry-nipped Norwegian lutefisk.

— Doc Velocity

[SCREAMMMMMM]

Once a trust is gone, that's it......rip it off like a band-aid and move on.

OH MY GOLLY GOSH !!!

YET ANOTHER FAG SHOWS UP !!!

WELL HOW SURPRISED I AM...


VJzcF0v1eOE

[SCREAMMMMMM]

WeJvcmzgHHk :dicktease::dicktease::dicktease: