Life's Baggage

[MrPenny]

So my nephew was just deployed to Iraq. More than likely he's sitting in Kuwait right now getting some in-country acclimation. I think he's fortunate to be a driver in the M1A1 Abrams. Pretty sure they have some decent armor.

Anyway....my sister, his Mother, was frantic to get to Georgia so she could be there when the orders came through and they shipped out.....desperate to be there and see him one last time before he ships out.

So, my brother decides that this Christmas would be a good time to surprise my Mother with a visit from one of her sisters she hasn't seen in some time. He mentioned in an email that "frankly, it may be the last time they see each other."

I'm not so good at "last times."

I lived and managed a shop in the same small town my Dad lived in. Every single day, he would finish his late breakfast at the local Waffle House and stop in the shop for a visit. And every single time, he would bring me a cup of coffee from Waffle House. Despite the fact that I always had a fresh carafe of good coffee in the lobby. Never failed; even after I told him, "Dad, I've got fresh coffee, you don't need to do that." Made no difference to him.

I always thanked him and drank that coffee.

We chatted one day....standing in front of the shop, watching the traffic whiz by on the interstate, and he said, "I guess I better get on home before I collapse..." I went back to my appointments and he left.

He died that evening. Sat down in his recliner, took a breath, and left this world.

The "what ifs" have dogged my sorry ass for years. What if I had been a bit more fucking perceptive....cancelled my appointments and dragged his ass to a doctor's office, or the ER. Would I have doomed him to years of intrusive medical care? Or could I have enjoyed a few more years of goofing around with Pop?

I'm not too good with "last times."

[Lexion]

Penny, "last times" happen.

I really don't think anyone is
good with them.

I had more than a few, during
my service.

Hell, I'm weeping as I type this.

We all think, "I could have done more".

But, could we ?

The M1 is a great tank. It's come a long
way, since I worked on them, back in
the 80's.

You're correct, he's in a good vehicle.

The best any of us can do, is to have
a clear concious.

I wish your nephew GodSpeed, and the
best of luck.

And, I /salute him.

[hp]

I lost my dad after he was ill for a few years. I remember rushing to the hospital that last day to be there.

I was at the ranch the morning my mom pasted unexpectedly.

Guess I've been on both sides of it. I do wish I had done a bit more, learned a bit more, from my dad. It is what it is, hindsight and all. The birds in my life are a major part of life with my dad. I think of him a lot when I am with them.

Guess all that any of us can do is learn to remember to make a bit more of each instant we spend with a loved one. We usually don't know how many of those times we have.

It sounds like there was a good relationship in your life with your dad. Hold on to that and the wisdom and good moments that were shared.

I wish the best for your nephew and the strength for you to believe in him and accept what becomes of this part of his journey in life.

[Cogburn]

I'm not too good with "last times."

You dad taught you all you needed to know in that regard.

If you are good with the times you have, there is no need to be good with "last times".

Best of luck to your nephew.

[theeindiee]

Last times.... seems like last times and I dissipate like puffs of steam from a freshly microwaved treat. People die daily in this world I live in. Maybe not even the body that's out there so much as the presence. In one day, out the next. I don't know what to think of it. You know something is dead when you mourn its loss, when you sometimes deny that it is gone, when you bargain with its memory to stay alive. It all dies, and if I bargain with everything constantly to stay where it is, or to become something again, I'll lose my own soul in the process. "What if" just isn't worth it. Nobody is judging our worth except for us. Each thing we lose gives us something else to gain, if we are open to it. We will not be open to these things unless we let go of what we lose... and the whole process of "letting go" never ends. In one thing, out the next.

What does this mean? I don't know.

[Alessandra]

why say shit if you have no idea what the hell you're talking about, indiee?

Anyway. Last times are no good. You can't live in the past with the "what ifs". What's done is done. Your dad called it. Sounded like he went sort of peacefully, knowingly. At least he wasn't taken kicking and screaming for his life back. He had a much better death than people murdered. For sure.

[lala]

Its not nice losing someone close, a loved one, but we are lucky to carry there memory around, which in turn keeps us close . . . I beleive we meet up in another lfe and with those thoughts I never feel its good by . . . but will catch them up at a later date :cool: . . .

[captainkiwi]

You are a lucky man to have had a Dad that loved you and made time for you in his life every day that has got to be a great feeling to know that he cared enough to spend time with you. My Dad left my life when I was only one year old and any contact I have had with him over the years has been fleeting at best. Though he dose try to make more of an effort these days, I think because he regrets not really getting to know me and now he has a grandson that he can enjoy in his life something he could not do with me . The closest thing I ever had as a father was my Grandfather who was a lovely man with the biggest heart and though he has been gone for a long time now I miss him still with all my heart and soul and long to see him again when I pass from this life. To have known his love for you must give you comfort when ever you think of him and all the times you must have sheared as father and son.

[Alessandra]

think of him and all the times you must have sheared as father and son.

Ahh family nights, when we all had our own pair of shears, and decided that those pesky sheep didn't need their wool anymore.

[Jackinthebox]

Before I go reading all the replies here OP, I want to tell you this. My brother deployed five times. I was on edge for years. There is no sugar coating. He could die, you know he could die. Give him a hug and let him meet his destiny. He probably wont die anyway, but yes, it could happen. Live for today, go have a good time, buy the guy a steak if you have time.

My brother's Sgt. came home from the desert and his wife shot him in the head two weeks after he was home. My brother lost more men in his unit stateside, than in the desert. (Fort Hood to boot)

It's just life man, and no one get's out alive.

Dont worry so much about last goodbyes. Just enjoy the company while you have it.

[captainkiwi]

Ahh family nights, when we all had our own pair of shears, and decided that those pesky sheep didn't need their wool anymore.
hahahah typo way to quote

[Alessandra]

hahahah typo way to quote
misconstruing sentences. It's what I do best.

[captainkiwi]

_9lzRWKqxcI

[Alessandra]

:lol: