View Full Version : Save Your Friends From Post-Rapture Hellfire, Only $40/year
GhostOfCaptSpaulding
06-08-2008, 01:09 PM
Save Your Friends From Post-Rapture Hellfire For Only $40 Per Year (http://consumerist.com/tag/rapture/?i=5013775&t=save-your-friends-from-post+rapture-hellfire-for-only-40-per-year)
A company called You've Been Left Behind is selling a post-Rapture package that sends emails to your sinful friends and family, letting them know where you are and what's up with the whole pending apocalypse thing. For only $40 per year, You've Been Left Behind offers "to get one last message to the lost, at a time, when they might just be willing to hear it for the first and last time."
For those wondering why such a policy is a sound investment, You've Been Left Behind explains:"'WHY'" is one last chance to bring them to Christ and snatch them from the flames!" The package offers encrypted storage space for personal letters and can send emails to 62 of your closest, hellbound friends and family. According to Wikipedia, there is debate as to how much time elapses between Rapture and everyone going to heaven/hell, but as You've Been Left Behind points out: "Imagine being in the presence of the Lord and hearing all of heaven rejoice over the salvation of your loved ones." Isn't that worth $40 a year?
Must be a job in there for a designated atheist; it's up to them to send the emails after the "rapture."
Oh, that I had the lack of ethics to work a scam like this!
AhahAhHhAHAHHahAHHAhA!!
Foxtrot Oscar
06-08-2008, 01:13 PM
Gee. That sure sounds like a swell idea.
Where's my visa?
Fox
Yo Mama
06-08-2008, 01:48 PM
I want to sell tickets to Nirvana. Not the band.
GhostOfCaptSpaulding
06-08-2008, 02:01 PM
I want to sell the next fad "wearing their affiliation on their sleeve" sticker for them to place on their big stupid vehicles...something like "I'm saved so I'm entitled to drive like a selfish, arrogant prick!"
Foxtrot Oscar
06-08-2008, 02:09 PM
Buddha's Bed and Bath.
Scented candles, incense, enchantingly fluffy towels all that shit.
Fox
ChadAndrewAmKon
06-08-2008, 02:13 PM
Are any of you afraid that "Jesus" may come back as a man of war (rather than the prince of peace)?
2]OnOfVI1tOaQ2]
Boondock
06-08-2008, 02:15 PM
i can't believe how fucking stupid MOST people are
vckums
06-08-2008, 02:48 PM
He aint coming back. Must've gotten lost. :mrgreen:
JiveTurkey
06-08-2008, 02:57 PM
Save Your Friends From Post-Rapture Hellfire For Only $40 Per Year (http://consumerist.com/tag/rapture/?i=5013775&t=save-your-friends-from-post+rapture-hellfire-for-only-40-per-year)
A company called You've Been Left Behind is selling a post-Rapture package that sends emails to your sinful friends and family, letting them know where you are and what's up with the whole pending apocalypse thing. For only $40 per year, You've Been Left Behind offers "to get one last message to the lost, at a time, when they might just be willing to hear it for the first and last time."
For those wondering why such a policy is a sound investment, You've Been Left Behind explains:"'WHY'" is one last chance to bring them to Christ and snatch them from the flames!" The package offers encrypted storage space for personal letters and can send emails to 62 of your closest, hellbound friends and family. According to Wikipedia, there is debate as to how much time elapses between Rapture and everyone going to heaven/hell, but as You've Been Left Behind points out: "Imagine being in the presence of the Lord and hearing all of heaven rejoice over the salvation of your loved ones." Isn't that worth $40 a year?
Must be a job in there for a designated atheist; it's up to them to send the emails after the "rapture."
Oh, that I had the lack of ethics to work a scam like this!
AhahAhHhAHAHHahAHHAhA!!
Morons only exist so that those with the slightest bit of intelligence can take advantage of them.
I'm all about some ethics, but I feel that it's unethical to NOT take advantage of those that are asking to be taken advantage of.
But, that's just me.
Oh yea, fuck you fuck off.
This is almost as bad a when my mom badgered my grandfather in to accepting Jesus on HIS DEATH BED!!! I thake that back. It is just as bad. Saying things like,"Don't you want to see your wife again?" "If you don't except him as your lord, you won't!!"
No he may have been a shit dad and an even shittier pap, but for fucks sake mom!!
Maybe the rapture has already happened. That would be funny.
Then again, I wonder if people would take me serious if I was on a desert island and wrote a revelation, spouting it to be the literal word of some God.
I'll stick to my gourd. At least it isn't invisible.
vckums
06-13-2008, 10:25 PM
What if the friends that need to be saved aren't worth $40? :wink:
skunk
06-13-2008, 10:42 PM
What if the friends that need to be saved aren't worth $40? :wink:
Then you go to hell for not saving them. Says jeebus!
GhostOfCaptSpaulding
06-13-2008, 10:45 PM
What if the friends that need to be saved aren't worth $40? :wink:
Get better friends?
Yo Mama
06-13-2008, 11:38 PM
In this society?
I believe this is why we all have the majority of our friends on the intertubez.
I have 2 really good ones.
In real life I mean.
On the net? Nope, just people that I don't know.
Been there, done that; now I just assume everyone is playing some sort of game that I am not playing and it's all just a grain of salt.
vckums
06-13-2008, 11:46 PM
I have 2 really good ones.
In real life I mean.
On the net? Nope, just people that I don't know.
Been there, done that; now I just assume everyone is playing some sort of game that I am not playing and it's all just a grain of salt.
But...But.. you said I wuz kewl
Yo Mama
06-13-2008, 11:46 PM
He said it to me too.
He must be one of them liars I've heerd tell of.
No, you took it wrong.
It's ok.
Really.
Tomorrow will be different.
I'll be gone.
The sun will set and blah blah blah.
vckums
06-13-2008, 11:48 PM
*snifflez* so.... i is not speshul??
A man who lies huh...that's a first
Yo Mama
06-13-2008, 11:49 PM
Yeah -- imagine that. :P
*snifflez* so.... i is not speshul??
A man who lies huh...that's a first
At what point did I lie?
See, this is the part I was speaking of in my prior post about the "game" that I was not playing. I was not invivted to play it. I was "that" kid.
Bye
vckums
06-13-2008, 11:51 PM
You aren't going nowheres...We'd have to track you down, hurt ya and then drag your body back to AmKon. Why make all this work for GN & i?
vckums
06-13-2008, 11:55 PM
Oh shush, we kid we kid.
Sheesh. Need a sloppy kiss from a dirty klown?
Yo Mama
06-15-2008, 01:21 PM
http://graphjam.files.wordpress.com/2008/06/funny-graphs-rapture.gif
Not a truer graph was ever created.
Looks like this scam is good to go for millennia to come. At least until we blow ourselves up one way or the other.
Foxtrot Oscar
06-15-2008, 11:41 PM
I'm expecting the second coming to be more of a dribble.
Fox
Yo Mama
06-15-2008, 11:58 PM
face/palm *groan*