Thoughts about Life So Far

[theeindiee]

In as much as I love this world, I already want to leave it. It could be a beautiful place, but there seems to be nowhere to turn in my inherent urge to affect change. Things are not working. People around me are not listening. Nobody cares, and everybody assumes.

I get frustrated and I lash out sometimes, by screaming... because I feel that if I don't vent some way, I might fall into madness. Is this the true me? I definitely know it isn't.

Nobody even has true thoughts anymore, it seems. They just move based on the assumptions that the thoughts of others are right. I don't see thought behind movement anymore. I drive to work everyday, and everybody is rushing to be somewhere, because if they aren't there, their tanks will stay empty and their families will starve. Nobody is taking the time to think of another way. Nobody is taking the time to ask their neighbor how he or she feels about what is happening around them, and how they can regain control of the madness. Everyone has gone crazy with capitalism, and the well-being of others comes second to the well being of themselves and the two or three people that surround them in their homes. How can we call ourselves communities anymore? We acknowledge that each other exist, but beyond that, we're closed off. We're only social for fun or for work. We're not social for survival of the species anymore. We're not cooperating to take care of the things that surround us. We're not truly even listening to each other. Like I said, we acknowledge that others exist, but we only interact when it benefits our egos.

Why is this? Why is it that we can't get along with our differences, even though we've got all this great new technology for communication? Why can't people understand that everyone is suffering inside? With all these new devices that makes interaction with everyone just a click away, are we any closer to being able to understand each other than we were 3000 years ago? We've become more tolerant, but is tolerance true understanding, or is it just another facade? just another fake polite gesture that means nothing?

I don't think we even realize just how much of a mask we put on in public to hide the confusion and the frustration that lies deep inside of us. We just do it automatically, because we want to be "professional" or we wanna be "polite" or we want to "fit in". It's so hard to realize that you aren't who you think you are because your plastic "real world" shell has been forcefully molded and sewn to your soul ever since you were born.

For Christ's sake, you have to learn your own name. Is it your own name even? No, it's the name your parents chose for you. Is your education your own? No, it's most likely the education the state chose for you. Is your personality your own? No, because you're taught from the time you are born that you must act certain ways in order for people to like you, so you build a fake shell that everyone agrees with. It's not really yours, and it's not really theirs. It's this composite plastic of the society that it seems like somebody else has built for us.
We don't even associate ourselves with what we are. We are animals. We are wild animals.

Who domesticated us? You say we did this to ourselves... but I don't see dolphins doing this to themselves. Some say the dolphins and the whales are of an intelligence we cannot even imagine, but the mainstream views on intelligence are very primitive, in my opinion. If it doesn't walk, talk, or destroy nature to build a civilization, then it is not intelligent. That, to me, is a narrow view on intelligence.

If, by intelligence, you mean the ability to ignore what is provided for us, and separate ourselves from our creation, in turn destroying us completely... than yes, we are a prime specimen.

I feel utterly trapped. I feel caged in this civilization. In this body which I'm supposed to cherish like it is me. If this body was me, I think I would feel a lot more ugly and bitter inside. I look in the mirror, and I see I've been sold a lie. I don't identify with this form I see, really.
So how can you deny the existence of an intelligent energy that is inside of you? How can you love yourself, but be frustrated with your body? How is this possible, unless the one thing we should have known all along has been hidden from us by the indoctrination our precious society has forced upon us?

Do we really know ourselves? Or do we only know what we see in the mirror?

Is this truth, or have we been sold an illusion? If you could prove to yourself that you will not cease to exist EVER... would you be afraid of letting go of the machinations that our lives are controlled by?

I really hope more people come to realize the truth and set themselves free, because I'm losing hope in you humans. I'm afraid that your forcefully adopted machinations will kill me, and I'll never be able to give anyone the message which their inner being longs to hear.

It's time to realize who we are, and take it seriously.

It's not a parlor trick. It's LIFE, and our life has been hijacked by those who wish for us to believe that we work for death. We must realize this, and rise above it. We're meant to do good things, believe it or not. I know deep down inside that humans are not truly as nasty as we're made to think. We are the gentle apes, given the knowledge to become the world's keepers. Let's start playing our true role, and begin the process of shedding these corroding prison walls that we mistakenly call home.

Only a few will pay attention to this. Most will still be too immersed in their set ego, and they will try to criticize this... but it is the only way we will survive... and unless humans have a death wish, the time is NOW... because the future is just another illusion. If you continually live for the future, you are already dead, because the only life worth living is happening in the now.

I'm not going to give up, and I'll try not to get angry... but people gotta start working with me, with each other, with the country, with the world. I'm not here to save your asses. I'm here to make some of you think, and perhaps reach others who are spreading the same message, in hopes that we can cooperate on a larger scale than just as individuals.

We can either have THEIR New Worlld Order, or we can have OUR old original world order back.

This new one ain't workin'. PERIOD!

Thanks,
Indy

[vckums]

"In as much as I love this world, I already want to leave it. It could be a beautiful place, but there seems to be nowhere to turn in my inherent urge to affect change. Things are not working. People around me are not listening. Nobody cares, and everybody assumes.

I get frustrated and I lash out sometimes, by screaming... because I feel that if I don't vent some way, I might fall into madness. Is this the true me? I definitely know it isn't."

I'm sorry Indee but that right there worries me. You need to just do things for you and not worry about what anyone else chooses to do. All you're going to do is get yourself all worked up and something in your head is gonna snap. And I doubt it will be a good thing.

[hp]

Indie, I believe you have stated that your are still young, the upcoming generation. Hopefully you can take some of these beliefs, and with others, turn it into change for the better in this country and the world. There are those who want to break and control as many people as possible. Help make a better place your peers and there upcoming children.

Some people my age want to stop the chaos that has been forced upon all of us but we won't be here to move the changes forward. I hope people like you, my child and your peers will no longer accept the evils in the world and force the change. It sadden me that some of my generation are the cause of so many of the country's problems.

Do not give up with a fight.

[theeindiee]

I think I came off suicide-ish.

I can't possibly do that, because I haven't done exactly what it is I'm here to do. Even with that in mind, I just find the task impossibly huge, and I need people to listen to what I have to say, not because I want attention, but because it is the only thing they need to know.

I'm just disappointed in everything, is all. It's going to be a fight of the willing. Not a physical struggle, but a very trying mental one.

I'm losing faith in humans to do this themselves. I've already lost faith in America. That is gone. There is no hope for the namesake anymore, so abandon putting anymore energy in supporting a dead and bloated concept. This should be abandoned as soon as possible, because at this point, nobody understands what is or what was. They take it all at face value. I'm losing faith in humanity... and now it feels like I'm just waiting for humanity to destroy itself ... because I'm not sure one person who wants things right can affect much change without being killed and the message forgotten, or at the very least, turned into an idol of worship and becoming a caricature of what the person actually stood for. I sometimes wish I didn't even care so much. I wish I could be like many buddies of mine, who see the shit in the world and go "Fuck it. Let's just get stoned and waste away because there's no point."

Nothing seems to be improving... and I was hoping it wouldn't come to another point in time where people choose violence to solve the problem... but most people I see that want to do something are thinking of revolt of a violent kind, and I don't see that working. Since it has never REALLY worked, other than changing one rich and wealthy family for another. They see the melting points. They finance the sides. They make sure their investments are still intact, even in times of revolution. They sit atop a perch, watching the trends from both sides, and so they can predict what we're going to do before it even happens. They know that our ego will triumph, and we will again revert to selfishness after the patriotic fervor is over.

What do we always do? We attack the governments in front of the "royalty", thinking that they are the problem.

We trust the authorities, that SOMEone will step forward and do something. Well nobody has stepped forward and lived... and nobody will, with all of these distractions in the way of humanity's common sense. Our attention spans have been shortened so much because we're racking our brains with things that have no substance, and we're caught in an endless cycle... and my mind is literally shutting down because I just can't handle the information overload.

I've never felt like information was a bad thing... but when it's a bunch of trivial things filling most of the space and pushing out the real substantial thought and motivation (which it is, for the most part) it's just too much. I feel like I'm constantly in a vegetative state.

Go to work, come home, eat, read, sleep, go to work, come home, eat, read, sleep, repeat, repeat, repeat, and all the while just this flood of information coming from everywhere, weakening my resolve, weakening my confidence in a more expansive reality, weakening my morals and my motivation to follow my gut... and it feels like a battering ram to my head. I don't see how people have ever comfortably situated themselves in this mess and been satisfied with it. There is so much more to this world that we refuse to see out of convenience's sake. Not convenience of our own making, but convenience within the constructs of our prison.

I can't be who I truly want be, which is whatever the hell I feel like being at whichever moment I see fit. I have to trap myself in this rigid persona and stay on this rigid regiment just to keep from being fired and starving and being looked at as a derelict on the street, possibly stuck in a mental ward and drugged.

Most people can't see it, but my dilemma is unknowingly shared by almost everyone.

I feel completely drugged and paralyzed, and I don't even drink alcohol or smoke weed anymore. It just didn't help. The vices don't help when you realize why you are doing them. To escape! From what? From the BULLSHIT that we just sit and tolerate, and we just consistently get fucked over because we're all too scared to move and act on our own free will. Would any of us have done 2/3rds of the bullocks that we do in our lives if we had freedom at all?

We're caged animals, man! We were born of wild heritage, and now we're domesticated, being drugged and browbeaten into submission by a society that thinks being your untamed self and doing your own thing with your own life isn't good enough. We've all compromised our life's vision... maybe so much so that we don't even remember or care what it once was.

Hell yes I'm still young. I still have massive dreams. Dreams for everyone who wants a dream, i got one for you. Why do those have to be crushed by the machinations of modern society? Why do I see older generations and they all look and act almost exactly the same? Almost no former hippies are sporting their free and easy look and attitude anymore...

I'm utterly speechless, because I just can't understand (well I can and I can't all at the same time) how people aren't completely just sick of it all like I am. I have hope, massive amounts, and in another few days or weeks, it will renew itsself again, just because it always seems to regenerate out of nowhere... but my one true wish, my one true hope is that humans begin to get it on their own. I'm not a teacher. I'm not a leader... I'm just talking, in hopes that someone will make a connection with their own inner thoughts and desires.

I'm just a guy who knows that humans are not an abomination, nor should we believe we are.

We could be doing great things right now. We could be travelling space. We could've been doing that a thousand years ago, if it weren't for the tyranny and the oppression of thought and love and peace.

Is anyone else just as completely exasperated as I am?

This isn't wishful thinking here. Humans are not cruel by nature, no matter how much people try to drill that into our heads. We're not a plague. We're the cure to the disease, but nobody is acknowledging the disease. They are exalting it, for the most part....

I understand people haven't learned any other way, but they need to take the time... because the key to it all cannot be spoken in words. It's an experience... but it's an experience that we've been prevented from doing for years and years. Because this experience takes deep unfettered thought and realization. How can we realize anything about who we truly are when we are rushing around trying to be everything to everyone except ourselves? I look around at the people living in this "great free nation" and all I see are blank, lifeless, bitter stares.

I was reading Annie Bessant's Esoteric Christianity book (which delves deeply into the true meaning of religion), but the one thing that really erked me was the fact that she kept referring to the majority of people (the ones who take religion at face value) as "of lesser intellect"... and that really bothered me, because the intellect of a person mostly depends on the conditions in which their minds are nurtured. She kept saying that basically, only the noble and higher learned people are truly deserving of understanding the mysteries behind the world's religions... and that to me was such BULLSHIT. It shows me that people who are trained in these esoteric arts are brainwashed themselves, into thinking of anyone outside of this knowledge as a savage. She was saying how, if everyone knew the true secrets of the universal energy, that they would destroy themselves like the people of Atlantis did... because it would give power to people of loose morals, who would use it to their own advantage.

I was laughing at that statement. If we all had this knowledge of the true nature of our being, we wouldn't LET those people of low morals take advantage of us. Look what is happeing now!

The occult world is full of evil people misusing the powers granted to them by the secrecy of their knowledge. Since when has secrecy helped anyone? It's only helped those who seek to hide and misuse the truth. Evil in it's purest form. Deception on the grandest scale.

If you are one of those people lurking around who have been initiated into the true mysteries, and have experienced the true experience... let it be known to everyone... because I can't do this on my own.

I have no credentials.

I see that humanity needs a jumpkick in the right direction, and there needs to be a powerful force to do this. A force equally as powerful as the force who opposes it.

Everyone needs the experience to truly know, and therefore live by that knowing.

I'm not trying to belittle anyone, but there's an experience you need to have, which society the way it is... is preventing you from having. You need to know who you truly are, because I am almost certain that most of you do not know. If you did, you would be as exasperated as I am.

The people who are hiding this knowledge need to step out from behind their fraternal silence, because there are people who have nothing to do with you or your secrecy that are having a very difficult uphill battle ahead of them, and the time is right. This needs to be known as an absolute. This alone would be our one and only government. This would be the only rule we would need to live by...

But people cannot live by a rule they have no first hand concept of.

Give them the knowledge, I say!

If this be done by decree of government, those who have the power to do so must step forward and take charge. I know there are some very influencial and powerful people in the know who have good hearts.

This may destabilize the world for a brief time, but out of the chaos will come great things.

I have considered that maybe these forces are already at work. If so, then someone needs to make me aware that the good fight is being won. I am not clairvoyant, nor do I want to be.