JiveTurkey
05-11-2008, 02:34 PM
The child custody and welfare (the wellbeing of the children, not lazy fucks scheming to make babies and live off the government) system in Amerika is fucked.
Instead of considering the actual welfare of the children in question, the court systems usually favor either the mother automatically or the parent (mother or father) who has the means to obtain the most expensive (and usually best) legal counsel in order to make the opposing parent look as bad as possible. Naturally, there are exceptions to this but they are few and far between. In most cases, the selfishness and/or jealousy of the parents win out over the needs and/or desires of the child.
I feel that the current court systems that pertain to families and children need to be totally revamped.
First, this whole thing of the mother getting the automatic benefit of the doubt needs to be completely done away with. There are just as many piece of shit mothers in this world who don't give a damn about their kids as their are fathers. While this practice had a place in society several decades ago (when the mother was the primary caregiver and nurturer), it is now severely outdated and unbelievably unfair. We now live in a society where the man is considered a piece of shit if he leaves the kids to be taken care of by the wife while he works and provides financially for the family. Fathers are now expected to take as much an active parenting role as the mothers (and they SHOULD!) and, as a result, they should no longer be treated as nothing but a sperm donor. It's fucking ridiculous and, in my opinion, a true sign of just how far we have FAILED to go as a society.
Second, when it comes to the initial court proceedings in regards to custody, BOTH PARENTS should be taken to task BEFORE the courts make a ruling. If either parent is incapable of being an adult and working with the other in an effort to provide the life and situation that is best for the child, resulting in one or both parents feeling they MUST get court intervention, then the parents should be required to open their lives and home TOTALLY to the courts. This should be done so that NEUTRAL child welfare agents can first monitor the parents, their lifestyles, the children, their environment and all other factors deemed necessary to determine what is best for the child. Full reports should then be worked up on both parents.
There should then be a court intervention. The parents should be brought together and given a second opportunity to come to terms with each other in regards to custody and support for the children. It should be made known to BOTH parents that an absolute refusal to come to terms over custody on either party's behalf could result in their losing all rights as a parent PERMANENTLY! (I say permanently because a child should not be subjected to a parent coming in and out of their lives repeatedly because said parent refuses to grow the fuck up.)
With a bit of luck (and the parents ACTING like parents instead of kids fighting over a fucking toy), most custody issues can be resolved during this step. However, if their is a LEGITIMATE and PROVABLE inability to come to terms (depending on several factors such as potential harm to the children (mental or physical), physical and/or mental inability of either parent to properly care for the children, etc), the matter of custody should then be taken to the courts based upon the reports gathered by the neutral "monitors".
From this point, the courts should be able to make an intelligent decision in regards to custody. IF this step is required, EITHER parent found to not be following the court ordered custody arrangement should be open to additional court proceedings to determine if said parent should lose all parental rights permanently.
Hopefully, this step would not be necessary.
Now, onto the whole ordeal of "support". BOTH parents took part in creating the children and, for this reason, BOTH parents should be deemed equally responsible for supporting the children. Court ordered child support payment from the non-custodial parent (if their is one) should be done away with completely. The parents should be required to take care of (and provide for) the children during the times that they children are with them. This means, if the children need food, you feed them. If they need clothing, you buy it for them, etc etc etc. However, when it comes to larger expenses (medical bills, dental, eye, etc), each parent should be required to cover 50% of the expenses. Hopefully, the children will be insured so this shouldn't provide too much of a problem.
Naturally, this is a very simplified version of how I feel things should be done. As with any system, there are always loopholes and the system should be dynamic so that these loopholes and flaws can be corrected when they are discovered. Perhaps when I really have some time to kill, I'll write the whole 80 pages or so that this would need in order to be completely covered. Until that time, please allow for a bit of creative thinking on your part.
This system COULD work.
HOWEVER, it shouldn't HAVE TO WORK!
Perhaps what kids need more than anything is fucking parents who fucking care MORE about them than they do about THEMSELVES!
Far too often, kids suffer because one or both of their parents is a complete and total fuckwit who is either too jealous, selfish, stupid or ALL OF THE ABOVE to show them the proper LOVE, CARING and RESPECT that they deserve. Unfortunately, kids do NOT have a choice of the parents they happen to be born to. HOWEVER, the parents DO have a choice whether or not to have children. For this reason, the children should ALWAYS be thought of first and foremost in EVERY relevant situation.
I don't give a shit if your ex is a piece of shit who cheated on you left and fuckin right. IF he/she is a good parent, that shit does NOT FUCKING MATTER!!!! I don't care if you hate the person your ex is now dating/married to. Does that person treat YOUR children the way that they should? That is all that matters!!!!!! Not your motherfucking jealousy and not this fucking "they have no rights to my child" shit.
ALL THAT MATTERS IS THE CHILDREN!!!!!!!! That is it. Not fucking money, not your cars, your fucking clothes or anything else pertaining solely to YOU! If it doesn't benefit or harm the children, then it DOES NOT MATTER!! At least as far as the children go.
As I said earlier, YOU chose them, they did NOT choose you.
"Oh, by I wasn't wanting to have kids!! It was an accident!" -- TOUGH FUCKING SHIT!!!!!!! You should have kept your goddamn pants on. You can scream, "I was on the pill!", "I had my tubes tied", "I used a condom!" or "I had a vasectomy!" all you fucking want. These things are NOT fool proof and they do NOT guarantee that you won't get knocked up/get someone knocked up. If you insist on fuckin, then you are taking the chance that you might make a fucking baby. Most of us have been aware of this since LONG before we started having sex. And what if you do "accidentally" get pregnant? --- THEN DEAL WITH IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! STEP THE FUCK UP AND BECOME A GODDAMN ADULT! IF YOU MAKE THAT KID THEN YOU SACRIFICE EVERYTHING YOU WANTED AND/OR HAD TO TAKE CARE OF THAT CHILD IF YOU ABSOLUTELY HAVE TO.
If you bring a kid into this world, then goddamnit you need to learn that your fucking pride, jealousy, finances and everything else in your life take a backseat to that kid's well being.
I don't give a damn if you hate your ex's new love interest. If that person treats your kid right, YOU TREAT THEM RIGHT BECAUSE IT'S THE BEST THING FOR YOUR KID!!!!!!!!!
I don't care if you need a fuckin manicure. If that money is supposed to buy your kid school clothes then goddamnit that's where the fuck it better be going!
Want a new car? If you can't afford it because of your kid, TOUGH FUCKING SHIT! Hop your ass on a bus or keep driving that 80's model Regal. The kid comes first.
The kids should ALWAYS come first. I don't give a fuck what kind of goddamn hangups you have. If you are making a decision that is NOT based around your children, you aren't doing your fucking job as a parent.
And another thing. If you are one of these people who "needs to get myself straightened out before I can take care of them.", do your kids a fucking favor and let someone who CARES ABOUT THEM take them. If you need to spend several years conquering your demons BEFORE you can be a parent, you aren't doing ANYTHING but harming your child and you do NOT deserve the love and caring that they show you.
When it comes to issues such as this, I personally feel that people need to be putting a hell of a lot more thought into the kids BEFORE they have them than they do AFTER they have them.
If catching a nut is so necessary to you that you simply cannot live without it until you are RESPONSIBLE ENOUGH TO DEAL WITH THE CONSEQUENCES, then you should do the world a favor and get yourself fucking sterilized.
Otherwise, STOP FUCKING UNTIL YOU ARE READY TO FACE THE GODDAMN CONSEQUENCES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
As with all my rants, please remember that I do realize that there are exceptions to the "rule". I do understand that sometimes people find themselves in situations that they couldn't possibly have planned for.
This does not pertain to you.
However, if YOUR problems are the result of YOUR OWN DUMB ASS DECISIONS, tough shit.
If you are reading this and you do not currently have children (and DO NOt WANT THEM!!), do yourself and your future kids a favor and stop having sex. If you haven't STARTED having sex yet, do yourself and even bigger favor and WAIT. It's a much bigger burden than you need.
If you DO have kids and anything in this pertains to you AND offends you, GROW THE FUCK UP. Put the needs of your kids before your own fucking pettiness and do what is best for them. Please.
Thanks.
Jasn
As usual, this is not directed at anyone in particular. Just another rant that happened to cross my mind.
Instead of considering the actual welfare of the children in question, the court systems usually favor either the mother automatically or the parent (mother or father) who has the means to obtain the most expensive (and usually best) legal counsel in order to make the opposing parent look as bad as possible. Naturally, there are exceptions to this but they are few and far between. In most cases, the selfishness and/or jealousy of the parents win out over the needs and/or desires of the child.
I feel that the current court systems that pertain to families and children need to be totally revamped.
First, this whole thing of the mother getting the automatic benefit of the doubt needs to be completely done away with. There are just as many piece of shit mothers in this world who don't give a damn about their kids as their are fathers. While this practice had a place in society several decades ago (when the mother was the primary caregiver and nurturer), it is now severely outdated and unbelievably unfair. We now live in a society where the man is considered a piece of shit if he leaves the kids to be taken care of by the wife while he works and provides financially for the family. Fathers are now expected to take as much an active parenting role as the mothers (and they SHOULD!) and, as a result, they should no longer be treated as nothing but a sperm donor. It's fucking ridiculous and, in my opinion, a true sign of just how far we have FAILED to go as a society.
Second, when it comes to the initial court proceedings in regards to custody, BOTH PARENTS should be taken to task BEFORE the courts make a ruling. If either parent is incapable of being an adult and working with the other in an effort to provide the life and situation that is best for the child, resulting in one or both parents feeling they MUST get court intervention, then the parents should be required to open their lives and home TOTALLY to the courts. This should be done so that NEUTRAL child welfare agents can first monitor the parents, their lifestyles, the children, their environment and all other factors deemed necessary to determine what is best for the child. Full reports should then be worked up on both parents.
There should then be a court intervention. The parents should be brought together and given a second opportunity to come to terms with each other in regards to custody and support for the children. It should be made known to BOTH parents that an absolute refusal to come to terms over custody on either party's behalf could result in their losing all rights as a parent PERMANENTLY! (I say permanently because a child should not be subjected to a parent coming in and out of their lives repeatedly because said parent refuses to grow the fuck up.)
With a bit of luck (and the parents ACTING like parents instead of kids fighting over a fucking toy), most custody issues can be resolved during this step. However, if their is a LEGITIMATE and PROVABLE inability to come to terms (depending on several factors such as potential harm to the children (mental or physical), physical and/or mental inability of either parent to properly care for the children, etc), the matter of custody should then be taken to the courts based upon the reports gathered by the neutral "monitors".
From this point, the courts should be able to make an intelligent decision in regards to custody. IF this step is required, EITHER parent found to not be following the court ordered custody arrangement should be open to additional court proceedings to determine if said parent should lose all parental rights permanently.
Hopefully, this step would not be necessary.
Now, onto the whole ordeal of "support". BOTH parents took part in creating the children and, for this reason, BOTH parents should be deemed equally responsible for supporting the children. Court ordered child support payment from the non-custodial parent (if their is one) should be done away with completely. The parents should be required to take care of (and provide for) the children during the times that they children are with them. This means, if the children need food, you feed them. If they need clothing, you buy it for them, etc etc etc. However, when it comes to larger expenses (medical bills, dental, eye, etc), each parent should be required to cover 50% of the expenses. Hopefully, the children will be insured so this shouldn't provide too much of a problem.
Naturally, this is a very simplified version of how I feel things should be done. As with any system, there are always loopholes and the system should be dynamic so that these loopholes and flaws can be corrected when they are discovered. Perhaps when I really have some time to kill, I'll write the whole 80 pages or so that this would need in order to be completely covered. Until that time, please allow for a bit of creative thinking on your part.
This system COULD work.
HOWEVER, it shouldn't HAVE TO WORK!
Perhaps what kids need more than anything is fucking parents who fucking care MORE about them than they do about THEMSELVES!
Far too often, kids suffer because one or both of their parents is a complete and total fuckwit who is either too jealous, selfish, stupid or ALL OF THE ABOVE to show them the proper LOVE, CARING and RESPECT that they deserve. Unfortunately, kids do NOT have a choice of the parents they happen to be born to. HOWEVER, the parents DO have a choice whether or not to have children. For this reason, the children should ALWAYS be thought of first and foremost in EVERY relevant situation.
I don't give a shit if your ex is a piece of shit who cheated on you left and fuckin right. IF he/she is a good parent, that shit does NOT FUCKING MATTER!!!! I don't care if you hate the person your ex is now dating/married to. Does that person treat YOUR children the way that they should? That is all that matters!!!!!! Not your motherfucking jealousy and not this fucking "they have no rights to my child" shit.
ALL THAT MATTERS IS THE CHILDREN!!!!!!!! That is it. Not fucking money, not your cars, your fucking clothes or anything else pertaining solely to YOU! If it doesn't benefit or harm the children, then it DOES NOT MATTER!! At least as far as the children go.
As I said earlier, YOU chose them, they did NOT choose you.
"Oh, by I wasn't wanting to have kids!! It was an accident!" -- TOUGH FUCKING SHIT!!!!!!! You should have kept your goddamn pants on. You can scream, "I was on the pill!", "I had my tubes tied", "I used a condom!" or "I had a vasectomy!" all you fucking want. These things are NOT fool proof and they do NOT guarantee that you won't get knocked up/get someone knocked up. If you insist on fuckin, then you are taking the chance that you might make a fucking baby. Most of us have been aware of this since LONG before we started having sex. And what if you do "accidentally" get pregnant? --- THEN DEAL WITH IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! STEP THE FUCK UP AND BECOME A GODDAMN ADULT! IF YOU MAKE THAT KID THEN YOU SACRIFICE EVERYTHING YOU WANTED AND/OR HAD TO TAKE CARE OF THAT CHILD IF YOU ABSOLUTELY HAVE TO.
If you bring a kid into this world, then goddamnit you need to learn that your fucking pride, jealousy, finances and everything else in your life take a backseat to that kid's well being.
I don't give a damn if you hate your ex's new love interest. If that person treats your kid right, YOU TREAT THEM RIGHT BECAUSE IT'S THE BEST THING FOR YOUR KID!!!!!!!!!
I don't care if you need a fuckin manicure. If that money is supposed to buy your kid school clothes then goddamnit that's where the fuck it better be going!
Want a new car? If you can't afford it because of your kid, TOUGH FUCKING SHIT! Hop your ass on a bus or keep driving that 80's model Regal. The kid comes first.
The kids should ALWAYS come first. I don't give a fuck what kind of goddamn hangups you have. If you are making a decision that is NOT based around your children, you aren't doing your fucking job as a parent.
And another thing. If you are one of these people who "needs to get myself straightened out before I can take care of them.", do your kids a fucking favor and let someone who CARES ABOUT THEM take them. If you need to spend several years conquering your demons BEFORE you can be a parent, you aren't doing ANYTHING but harming your child and you do NOT deserve the love and caring that they show you.
When it comes to issues such as this, I personally feel that people need to be putting a hell of a lot more thought into the kids BEFORE they have them than they do AFTER they have them.
If catching a nut is so necessary to you that you simply cannot live without it until you are RESPONSIBLE ENOUGH TO DEAL WITH THE CONSEQUENCES, then you should do the world a favor and get yourself fucking sterilized.
Otherwise, STOP FUCKING UNTIL YOU ARE READY TO FACE THE GODDAMN CONSEQUENCES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
As with all my rants, please remember that I do realize that there are exceptions to the "rule". I do understand that sometimes people find themselves in situations that they couldn't possibly have planned for.
This does not pertain to you.
However, if YOUR problems are the result of YOUR OWN DUMB ASS DECISIONS, tough shit.
If you are reading this and you do not currently have children (and DO NOt WANT THEM!!), do yourself and your future kids a favor and stop having sex. If you haven't STARTED having sex yet, do yourself and even bigger favor and WAIT. It's a much bigger burden than you need.
If you DO have kids and anything in this pertains to you AND offends you, GROW THE FUCK UP. Put the needs of your kids before your own fucking pettiness and do what is best for them. Please.
Thanks.
Jasn
As usual, this is not directed at anyone in particular. Just another rant that happened to cross my mind.