would you eat a person to survive?

[Boondock]

so you are on a plane and it crashes...you're wherever the fuck and you can't get out and there is no food.

the only way to survive is to eat another person...for the sake of this thread there are no berries, fruits, other animals and shit around....

would you or could you eat a person? would you only eat them if they were already dead or could you kill them and then eat them?

----

of course i can't be 100% till it happens to me but i am fairly confident that if that situation happened to me i could chow down on a person. of course i would try not to kill a person but if it came down to me killing and eating you or dying, you gots to go....

so, what are your thoughts on this?

[galm 1]

it's either eat, or be eaten...

I might... do I have a gun?

[gunner]

If they were already dead and werent all smelly and bloaty, yeah I could in order to survive. I think in survival situations, it is hard sitting here full and happy to say you wouldnt eat something if given the opportunity. I wouldnt eat my kids, but I would eat my wife, no I wouldnt eat here either.

I dont think I could kill someone for the purpose of eating them, I dont like myself enough to kill another human being to eat, then have to live with doing that for the rest of my life.

[skunk]

Probably not. People meat doesn't really turn me on.

[vckums]

Where's the plane crash? Cause even in the desert there's reptiles/animals that live.

I've heard cooked human flesh smells nasty as hell, so I doubt I could eat it.

And Gunner, you'd eat your wife but she'd be alive hahahaha!

[gunner]

No vckums I dont do that anymore, after she had that kid, I havent been able to bring myself to doing that. If she woudl return the favor perhaps.

Also boon already said in the first post, "for the sake of argument , there are no berries, fruits, other animals and shit around....."

COME ON vick, read before you post. GN can you do something about your friend she is running all willy nilly over boons thread. :D

[Boondock]

Where's the plane crash? Cause even in the desert there's reptiles/animals that live.

I've heard cooked human flesh smells nasty as hell, so I doubt I could eat it.

And Gunner, you'd eat your wife but she'd be alive hahahaha!

for the sake of this thread, there is nothing else to eat....come on now

[1972]

Long pork!

Will it make me immortal or give me super-human strength?

If they were dead or dying yes. Otherwise, we'd figure something out.
We could always eat ourselves, like that guy in that Stephen King short story. Or like Van Halen said: Women and children first but I guess that isn't what they meant now is it?

:wink:

[vckums]

Where's the plane crash? Cause even in the desert there's reptiles/animals that live.

I've heard cooked human flesh smells nasty as hell, so I doubt I could eat it.

And Gunner, you'd eat your wife but she'd be alive hahahaha!

for the sake of this thread, there is nothing else to eat....come on now

lol no fun Boon! ok, seriously no food and all. I'd go as long as I could and try to get rescued without eating anyone. But I guess Id try it if I had to.

[the titan]

I am sure I would after I was starving enough. There is only so much the human body will take before you go into survival mode. I'm sure my animal instinct would take over and I would probably even be willing to kill with my bare hands.


My thoughts about it.

[Foxtrot Oscar]

No vckums I dont do that anymore, after she had that kid, I havent been able to bring myself to doing that. If she woudl return the favor perhaps.

:safe: Stick on of those on ya head!

and then go for the :shaking2: hardcore motorboat!

On Topic:

Yup. I've eaten all sorts when not really hungry. Now if I was really hungry... Hmmm Chow time!

Fox

[Boondock]

nope. no gun. you'd have to bash their face in with a big ass fucking rock or something....you've got to get your hands dirty.

[vckums]

No vckums I dont do that anymore, after she had that kid, I havent been able to bring myself to doing that. If she woudl return the favor perhaps.

Also boon already said in the first post, "for the sake of argument , there are no berries, fruits, other animals and shit around....."

COME ON vick, read before you post. GN can you do something about your friend she is running all willy nilly over boons thread. :D

Bite me mister! lol Trying to take all my fun away.

[dk3000]

If you are five minutes late for dinner- your getting a cold shoulder!

Hahaha. No I would not eat a human under any circumstances- well actually that is not true. I might devour a portion of my body that would not be crucial to make it out of the situation alive.

Eating myself would grab bigger headlines- a better movie deal, a more powerful agent and publisher for my story.

I managed to suck my own cock once when I was high on mushrooms- so biting, chewing and swallowing isn't out of reach in a desperate situation.

LOL

[vckums]

Sometimes there's such a thing as too much info. :lol:

[dk3000]

Sometimes there's such a thing as too much info. :lol:

It was a vicious lie to give the impression that my appendage was big enough to feed myself. The truth is I couldn't reach it!

But lets keep this a secret vck!

<object width="425" height="355"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/xQdxuGjqdx0&hl=en"></param><param name="wmode" value="transparent"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/xQdxuGjqdx0&hl=en" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" width="425" height="355"></embed></object>

Here kitty kitty!

[vckums]

Lips are sealed. Dammit I don't need mental pics this early in the morning. lol

[gunner]

That is what I do vick, I take the fun away from stuff. I am a bad bad bad man.

[vckums]

Well I have a phonebook here...jsut remember that!

[gunner]

I am immune to phone book beatings, all that happens is I rip the thing from the hands of someone hitting me with it, and KICK THEIR ASSES WITH IT!! :lol:

[vckums]

:roll: You THINK you win, but I got the thunderblaster and zap your happy ass with it. While you be twitching you are in lala land thinking you kicked ass. :wink:

[gunner]

I dont know what the thunder blaster is, but just like coming in here to this thread talking about eating lizards and stuff, breaking the rules. Now you are making stuff up, typical. :P

[vckums]

http://amkon.net/forum/viewtopic.php?t= ... t=stun+gun (http://amkon.net/forum/viewtopic.php?t=757&highlight=stun+gun)


Now run :lol:

[gunner]

OOOOOOOOOH, so scary :D

[mojo]

fTpQOZcNASw

[century]

noupHDxmUTE

[Royal]

No bull shit. I had a friend that would eat a person if it was socially acceptable.

He thinks people are cleaner then most animals.

Crazy eh?

[Infinite`Eternal`Forever]

He thinks people are cleaner then most animals.


For some reason or another I think this might be true.

[Jackinthebox]

Indeed I would, without a doubt. But I've already broken the ice anyway, so it's a little easier for me to say that. I unknowingly ate human meat in an Indian curry, on several occassions. I didn't realize until the police came to ask me questions.

Also, if you are not comitted in a survival situation, there's no point in crossing that boundary. If you plan to survive, and really believe that you will have to do this to survive, you better be the first to figure it out. If you wait until someone dies off from starvation before you decide to roast their bones, you will get virtually no nutrition and you will starve to death anyway. Survival cannibalism is all about timing.

[RubyRocket]

so you are on a plane and it crashes...you're wherever the fuck and you can't get out and there is no food.

the only way to survive is to eat another person...for the sake of this thread there are no berries, fruits, other animals and shit around....

would you or could you eat a person? would you only eat them if they were already dead or could you kill them and then eat them?

----

of course i can't be 100% till it happens to me but i am fairly confident that if that situation happened to me i could chow down on a person. of course i would try not to kill a person but if it came down to me killing and eating you or dying, you gots to go....

so, what are your thoughts on this?

with relish

[Raptor Jesus]

Indeed I would, without a doubt. But I've already broken the ice anyway, so it's a little easier for me to say that. I unknowingly ate human meat in an Indian curry, on several occassions. I didn't realize until the police came to ask me questions.

OMG is that true????

Plz tell more...

[Foxtrot Oscar]

Oh come on RJ...

You've been to China how many times?

Never played "Guess that meat?"

Errrrr the restaurant version, the karoke version comes later. Boom Boom!

Fox

[Jackinthebox]

OMG is that true????

Plz tell more...

Yeah, I went to high school with a dude from India. An area so poor that they used corpses as mannequins sometimes in shop windows. He was actually considered royalty there though, which is how they managed to get to the US. They owned several gas stations and a halal butcher shop. The whole family up and disappeared, leaving behind many questions for authorities and friends alike. Human flesh was discovered butchered at the shop, and cooked at their home.

My buddy's father always had a pot of curry on the stove to go over rice. That is all they ate at home was this one recipe. A lot of times we would come in hungry and grab a bowl full of it.

[captainkiwi]

without a second thought

Jack I think you need a face cloth to wipe that dribble of bullshit of your chin

[Jackinthebox]

without a second thought

Jack I think you need a face cloth to wipe that dribble of bullshit of your chin

Lol, whatever. :chef:

[MissSilver]

Oh come on RJ...

You've been to China how many times?

Never played "Guess that meat?"

Errrrr the restaurant version, the karoke version comes later. Boom Boom!

Fox

[Infinite`Eternal`Forever]

Hmmm...I don't know. I'd rather eat an animal first.

[MissA]

what are these conditions that supposedly exist where people is my only choice? like am I in the woods? can i eat birch bark? i mean...i don't understand why there is nothing else to eat but people.

i know this is avoidance, but if i have a knife to hack up the body and fuel or a fire...then there is wood...if there is wood there are trees...if there are trees there is wildlife. i mean...give me a situation or something.

[theeindiee]

what ever happened to boondock? is he still here?

[Jackinthebox]

what are these conditions that supposedly exist where people is my only choice? like am I in the woods? can i eat birch bark? i mean...i don't understand why there is nothing else to eat but people.

i know this is avoidance, but if i have a knife to hack up the body and fuel or a fire...then there is wood...if there is wood there are trees...if there are trees there is wildlife. i mean...give me a situation or something.

Plane crash in the tundra. Locked in prison after an apocalyptic event.

[Jackinthebox]

JO98NMMgp0Y

[Infinite`Eternal`Forever]

Plane crash in the tundra. Locked in prison after an apocalyptic event.

Is it just me or was damn near all of this maniac's threads about death or some other morbid shit?

[MissA]

Do I have condiments?

[Paroxysm]

Condiments?!?

That shit's for rich white people...which you no longer qualify as if you have to get all ghetto nigga on a motha fucka just to survive.


http://www.tonyrogers.com/humor/images/cannibalism.jpg







.

[MissA]

I can't believe I clicked...

[Paroxysm]

Common sense should have kicked in, and told ya not to show the spoiler.


If you think Charlie's bad....then you might just want to put Pack and Lex on ignore....or at least think twice before clicking their links. When they want to be bad, those two can make Charlie look like a saint.

[Jackinthebox]

Common sense should have kicked in, and told ya not to show the spoiler.


If you think Charlie's bad....then you might just want to put Pack and Lex on ignore....or at least think twice before clicking their links. When they want to be bad, those two can make Charlie look like a saint.

There are some things you just can't un-see. I've seen a lot of shit, but they still push my limits. Glass in the ass, what?

[MissA]

Yeh, have never clicked their links. Don't want to.

[skunk]

The ones sent via pm are far worse.

[Jackinthebox]

The ones sent via pm are far worse.

I'm familiar with the work of Max Hardcore. Puke is not my bag at all. But the glass-pack was just too much.

[MissA]

Don't wanna know...don't wanna know...

The cannibal picture has now killed me for clicking ANY link here.

[skunk]

People are supposed to use the spoiler tag reason (spoiler=reason and then end the tag), but nobody does :D. I know I hardly do.

[MissA]

I am just going to believe that it was photoshop and that it wasn't real people leg he was eating.

[Jackinthebox]

I am just going to believe that it was photoshop and that it wasn't real people leg he was eating.

It was an arm I think. A man's arm. Or a Russian woman's, lol.

EDIT, nope, you were right.

[Paroxysm]

The cannibal picture has now killed me for clicking ANY link here.

What do I win?

[Jackinthebox]

gaFZTAOb7IE

[skunk]

What do I win?

A menage with two sexy dolls

http://www.styleleague.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/06/picture_6_2.png

[Ducky]

No.

I wouldn't eat another person.

[skunk]

I've been talking about this subject with my girlfriend in regards to Haiti...

There's no food available, but plenty of dead bodies, why not start chowing down?

Granted some of the bodies at this point are too ripe, and some are diseased, but I'm sure there's a few hundred that are fine pickings.

Sounds morbid I know. Do (some of them) have any other options?

Starve, or become cannibalistic.

[Jackinthebox]

I've been talking about this subject with my girlfriend in regards to Haiti...

There's no food available, but plenty of dead bodies, why not start chowing down?

Granted some of the bodies at this point are too ripe, and some are diseased, but I'm sure there's a few hundred that are fine pickings.

Sounds morbid I know. Do (some of them) have any other options?

Starve, or become cannibalistic.

Fucked up, but I dont doubt that it is happening. I've heard rumors that it did happen on ocassion from time to time before the quake, because of such desperate poverty and people literally eating dirt.

[GeneralStriker]

jack, i would never eat you to survive. but i'd definitely feed you to my dawg.

[GeneralStriker]

actually i can picture her chomping on that rarge penis of yours as we speak.

[Jackinthebox]

Lol, you're suck a dick BE I mean Striker.

[Jackinthebox]

http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_cTe9RzVYIfg/R8Cuwr-mUcI/AAAAAAAAAUw/jO8DJsCyKks/s320/HiEatMeLarge.jpg

[Jackinthebox]

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_kBOAkUfthmk/Rqifk1zA9VI/AAAAAAAAA50/vV95Bece4Dk/s400/eat%2Bme%2Belmo.jpg

[Lexion]

Elmo FTW !!!

[Jackinthebox]

Tastes like chicken...

http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3120/2686148596_f19491d8c5.jpg

[Jackinthebox]

T7ndTaNhjKA

[UtopianPenguin]

eat humans...nah too many people addicted to prescriptions and McD's
I would render them for there fat content and recycle them for compost.

[Paroxysm]

I've been talking about this subject with my girlfriend in regards to Haiti...

There's no food available, but plenty of dead bodies, why not start chowing down?


I hear ya loud and clear brotha! And if ya'll are scared of being seen...just dress up a little, and put on some makeup or facepaint:

http://icarus.explainthisimage.com/content/714/resized/unxplained-photo-1228387215-40914.jpg





.

[century]

I hear ya loud and clear brotha! And if ya'll are scared of being seen...just dress up a little, and put on some makeup or facepaint:

http://icarus.explainthisimage.com/content/714/resized/unxplained-photo-1228387215-40914.jpg





.

:lol:

[Paroxysm]

http://i188.photobucket.com/albums/z168/Goddamnidiot/why_so_serious_parody_by_deidaranum.jpg

[skunk]

I never trusted Ronald McDonald, or clowns in general actually, they're crafty motherfuckers. Now I find out he's a cannibal? No surprises here.

[mojo]

RpRmf9xXH7A

[Chorlton]

Would I eat a person to survive?
Shit I have to eat my wife most nights or I DONT survive !

[Jackinthebox]

I ate a people a few times. Didn't know it at the time.

[egg]

I won't eat a person if you leave its head on the plate.

[Jackinthebox]

I won't eat a person if you leave its head on the plate.

Me neither. But finny thing is I will with pig. Not cow, not people, but pig I will. Weird.

[egg]

Me neither. But finny thing is I will with pig. Not cow, not people, but pig I will. Weird.

Pig's got good head meat and they hold an apple in their dead mouth, really well.

[Jackinthebox]

Pig's got good head meat and they hold an apple in their dead mouth, really well.

I have yet to suck the brain out of a roasted suckling. I sooo want to.

[egg]

I have yet to suck the brain out of a roasted suckling. I sooo want to.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.... we all need things to aspire to. I have yet to taste brain of any kind. If they roasted the brain too, I'm sure it would be delicious.

[Lexion]

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.... we all need things to aspire to. I have yet to taste brain of any kind. If they roasted the brain too, I'm sure it would be delicious.

Salty.

Very salty.

Squirrel brains, anyway.

[egg]

Salty.

Very salty.

Squirrel brains, anyway.

Squirrel brains!?!?!? You've got to kill a lot of those little fuckers to have a meal on their brains, I'm guessing.
Mmmmmmm......squirrel brains.......

[Lexion]

Cook them whole.

Pretty good eats.

The brains, not so much.

Squirrel gumbo is good stuff.

[mojo]

Squirrel gumbo is good stuff.

GKL6WuiTlgk

[anarch]

People are tasty.

[egg]

People are tasty.

How do you prepare them?

[Jackinthebox]

How do you prepare them?

In a nice Indian curry.

[egg]

In a nice Indian curry.

I LOVE indian food. A human thigh made as a nice vindaloo. Mmmmm....mmmm.... Now, that's good eating.

[Malaprop]

wouldn't even hesitate

3774

[anarch]

AS long as I don't love you I can eat you...wait.. that didn't happen right.

[the titan]

AS long as I don't love you I can eat you...wait.. that didn't happen right.

Wouldn't it just be a different type of eating?
:kissass:

[13erk0witz]

I'd eat rose mcgowan

[lala]

Aghoris eat human flesh . . . So it carn't be to bad, they even dig them up .. . eeewww ;) :D


The Aghoris distinguish themselves from other Hindu sects and priests by their alcoholic and cannibalistic (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cannibal) rituals (see necro-cannibalism (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cannibalism#Reasons_for_cannibalism)). The corpses, which may be either pulled from a river [including Ganges] or obtained from cremation grounds, are consumed both raw and cooked on open flame, as the Aghoris believe that what others consider a "dead man" is, in fact, nothing but a natural matter devoid of the life force it once contained. Therefore while for ordinary people cannibalism may be seen as primitive, barbaric as well as unclean, for aghoris it is being both resourceful and subverting the common stereotypes placed on such taboos into a spiritual ascertainment that indeed nothing is profane nor separate from God, who is hailed to be all and in all. In fact, the Aghoris see it as a scientific approach in trying to discover how matter converts from one form to another.[8] (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aghori#cite_note-7) An eyewitness account is offered by Swami Rama (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Swami_Rama), who observed an Aghori baba (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Baba) transmute the flesh from a dead human body floating in the river into a vegetarian sweet - the Aghori maintained that he is actually purely vegetarian in diet, demonstrating that he actually transmutes the flesh into vegetarian meals.[9] (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aghori#cite_note-8) According to Swami Rama's account, the Aghori also demonstrated the ability to heal wounds instantly, to transmute a rock into a sugar cube, and sand into almonds and cashews.[/URL]
[URL]http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aghori (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aghori#cite_note-9)

[SCREAMMMMMM]

I DON'T THINK I COULD EAT SOMEONE OR KILL THEM SO I COULD EAT THEM

BUTT I JUST CAN'T KNOW FOR SURE UNLESS I WAS IN THE REAL SITUATION

I AM SURE I COULD AND WOULD TURN INTO A ANIMAL

I HAVE SEEN ME DO THAT BEFORE IN SITUATIONS WHERE IT WAS PURE SURVIVAL

I DO LIKE THEM CORN DOGS !!!

[MrPenny]

I'd eat rose mcgowan

With a spoon.......

[SCREAMMMMMM]

NOW IF I HAD MY OWN KIDS AND IT MEANT THEIR SURVIVAL

I AM ALMOST SURE YOU WOULD BE DEAD AND EATEN IN NO TIME

AND THE KIDS WOULD HAVE INSTRUCTIONS TO EAT ME WHEN THE TIME CAME

[Malaprop]

NOW IF I HAD MY OWN KIDS AND IT MEANT THEIR SURVIVAL

I AM ALMOST SURE YOU WOULD BE DEAD AND EATEN IN NO TIME

AND THE KIDS WOULD HAVE INSTRUCTIONS TO EAT ME WHEN THE TIME CAME

wut

[DocVelocity]

When I was starving my ass off in Florida, back in 1993, I was getting real close to the pure animal side of man. I remember needing to eat so badly that my insides were on fire, felt like broken glass in my stomach and intestines, and I had lost so much weight I was down to 135 lbs — about 40 lbs under normal weight. At the worst point, I had gone over two weeks without food. I was digging shit out of garbage cans, literally, until the shop owners came out and chased me away, or the police would drive by.

I lived on the beach for about 6 months, toward the end, which was the worst. I could smell food cooking miles away — not only that, I could tell you exactly WHAT food was cooking and in which direction. I used to wait until night and then go sneaking around the beachfront public parks, literally eating burned barbecue sauce and shit right off of the cooking grills.

I was seeing spots in front of my eyes all the time, I was dizzy, lightheaded, physically weak. I remember sitting in the jungle off Casperson beach one day, watching the lizards all around me, the birds, and my fucking mouth was watering, like an animal. A part of my mind was still civilized, but it was sitting over to the side, marveling at the OTHER part that was taking over. Like a fucking Wolfman.

I saw these big-assed snakes in the jungle, like, 7-foot-long snakes, tan and black, easily 4 inches thick, and they raced across the hot sand, moving from one area of shade to the other. I remember thinking, They're not poisonous (you can tell by the shape of the heads), and I think I could catch one barehanded, if I had enough strength to chase it. I knew I'd eat the motherfucker raw, blood and guts and bones and all, if I ever caught it. I drooled thinking about eating one of those big motherfuckers raw.

Then the civilized part would suddenly butt in, WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU THINKING??? But, the longer I starved, the more silent the civilized part remained.

Fuck. If I had gone a full month without food, goddamned. I dunno. Yeah, I think I could've eaten a human being. Starvation does shit to your mind that you can't even imagine.

— Doc Velocity

[DocVelocity]

Double post.

— Doc Velocity

[madinsomniac]

If it came straight down to the human flesh eating thing., If it's you
or me, it;s going to be you. I wouldn't starve.

[DocVelocity]

See, the thing is, KNOWING when you have no other choice but to consume human meat.

When I was, like, a week into starvation, I was really hungry, but I wasn't looking at a fucking dog and drooling. At a week of starvation, I was still TOO PROUD to dig in a goddamned garbage can. See, the civilized part of me was still in control. But, going on 3 weeks of starvation, the civilized part was hiding in a dark corner most of the time, and I was really turning into a werewolf.

If it had gone to a full month or more, I would've been eating rotten carcasses on the beach, eating a stray poodle raw, et cetera. But, in the absence of rotten fish and small animals, if it was just me and another human... Fuck all, I can't speak to that, because I'm speaking as a civilized human being right now.

As a civilized human being, I might say, hell, I'd SACRIFICE myself and allow the others to eat ME.

But, if the Wolfman was in control, the civilized part of me would be buried, and GOD HELP whoever was with me. I mean, I know what starvation does to your mind. It's pretty fucking incredible. Horrifying, actually, when you realize that all that Vegan, Vegetarian, Pacifist bullshit is a product of the Civilized Mind — it's all Fantasy — that has NOTHING to do with the animal side of Mankind.

Even growing up in a hunting family, knowing how to trap and kill and feed off of the land is part of the Civilized Mind. We were poor when I was kid, but we never went hungry.

The WORST PART of going hungry is growing up in a society where your fucking mind has been brainwashed to believe that society will provide for you. If you have no experience in feeding off the land, you MAY turn into a fucking werewolf who kills to eat indiscriminately, without first THINKING of ways to feed yourself.

I mean, I can easily see millions of people in the USA going crazy with HUNGER after only a week without food. Even though you're not actually STARVING at that point, you may turn into a werewolf because you THINK you're starving.

Fucking fat, overfed bastards.

You don't have to worry about the poor coming to eat your ass in a post-apocalyptic world, you have to worry about the fucking upper-class who have never eaten anything that wasn't processed or prepared in a gourmet kitchen... THOSE are the motherfuckers who are going to lose their minds when SHTF.

— Doc Velocity

[13erk0witz]

I love that show Bizzare foods cause it shows that you can eat pretty much anything with the right spices.... if America went into starvation mode i'd be frying up june bugs in a wok.

[DocVelocity]

See, in my case, I was trying to hang onto my pride, even though I'd lost every fucking thing else. I'd lost my car, my dwelling, everything I owned, my best friends were the lowest people on earth who you couldn't actually trust, and there were others who very much wanted my ass dead and who were actively searching for me toward that end.

Plus, in Florida, they KNOW that people come down there and fall in love with the climate and scenery and WANT to stay. But the residents down there DON'T WANT you to stay. Truth is, Florida HATES your ass, but they want your money.

Come on down to Sunny Florida, play in the surf, dine in a MILLION seafood venues, be dazzled at the amusement parks, buy bag of souvenirs to preserve the memory forever, spend, spend, SPEND your money, then GET THE FUCK OUT.

No shit. That's EXACTLY what Florida is like. That's EXACTLY what the Florida Tourist Board is like.

And half the fucking residents are mean-ass, ignorant Long Islanders.

Fuck, I promise you, bitch, you walk into the Publix down there, and there are 2 different prices on every product in the store. There's the TOURIST price, which is the advertised price; and then there's the LOCAL price, which is invisible, but is activated at the cash register ONLY IF you are a longtime resident (more than 2 years).

Seriously. Can of tunafish? Almost $3.00 to the tourists. $1.25 to the locals. Florida is a fucking GANGSTER state, it gouges the SHIT out of tourists. If you go to Florida for vacation, you can just automatically say that you paid 300% more than you would pay for a vacation of same duration anywhere else in the goddamned country.

Hey. It's a hard place to be a bum, I'm telling you. They DO NOT WANT you to stay, and they REALLY don't want your begging ass down there with your Will Work for Food sign on the Tamiami Trail. They'll fucking bust your ass QUICK, drive you over to nigger town and let the little deadbeat niggy gangstas murder your ass for fun.

NOT EASY to be homeless in Florida, I'm tellin ya.

— Doc Velocity

[13erk0witz]

Bullshit, you are not the homeless type. (i could be wrong)

[DocVelocity]

Son, I was HARDCORE homeless in Florida for just over a year back in the 90s. Living in the bushes homeless. Shitting in the bushes, wiping my ass with old newspapers, sleeping on the beach.

This was when the fucking killers were hard on my trail, and I don't mean imaginary paranoid schizophrenic figments of my imagination. When they found me, there was a fuck-up in their information, they thought I was alone, but I was living in a house with 4 hookers. One of the girls came rushing into my bedroom and said "Get out now" and I didn't ask questions. We both exited the back door by the swimming pool, one of the other girls was out on the dock motioning to us urgently. We ran to her.

The three of us slipped into the fucking CANAL behind the house, which had fucking stingrays and sharks in it, the fucking animals LIVED in that canal, and we swam across to the other side and skeedaddled across somebody's property, emerging on Ocean Boulevard.

The girls told me that two fucking torpedoes had showed up at the front door, asking for me by name, and then pushed their way in. That brave bitch Nikki stood up to them, just stalled them long enough for the other girls to rush me out the back. Those boys had guns. They were comin' to fuck me up.

Anyway, as a result of that incident, I went COMPLETELY off the grid and under the radar. I was nameless, living on the beach, moving all the fucking time, mingling with the throngs of tourists day and night.

Funny, in the midst of all this appalling civilization, with convenience stores and restaurants and open-grill cooking in the parks, I was starving my ass off. I didn't use cards of any kind, I DARED not use cards, I left ZERO paper trail. I vanished.

And I was homeless, dirty ass, stinking sunburnt, fishscale beachbum for a long time. I did not steal. I take that back — I stole a whole load of laundry once, because there was a storefront laundry right there on Ocean Boulevard and it was open 24 hours. I needed clothes. Theft was a last resort. I hated having to steal those clothes.

I usually beach-bummed to survive. I never begged. I never asked anyone for money, so I suppose I should drop the term "bum"... I never begged or bummed anything. I was resourceful. I scavenged.

Beachcomber. There's a nice moniker.

— Doc Velocity

[FancyFree]

Son, I was HARDCORE homeless in Florida for just over a year back in the 90s. Living in the bushes homeless. Shitting in the bushes, wiping my ass with old newspapers, sleeping on the beach.

— Doc Velocity

Sorry to hear that you went through tough times, Doc, but at least you weren't homeless somewhere where gets as cold as -40 C, that would make it even more difficult, i would think.

[DocVelocity]

Cold was not even an issue. South Florida? Shit 80°F at midnight in February, but it's not the same as Gulf Coast heat, because of the latitude and crosswind dynamics, baby, 85° is a PERFECT temperature in Florida, it doesn't feel hot at all. You can stroll down Siesta Beach which has, bar none, the best fucking white beach sand in the world. Yes, it has won competitions.

It was like sugar, it was so white. And the waves coming in were motherfucking turquoise, right, and you could stand in 5 feet of water and see very small details on your toenails when you looked down. The Water is extraordinary, it's a HEALING thing, no really. I stopped wearing prescription glasses, I turned bronze, my hair turned SunBleached White and grew long...Shit, I LIVED on that crescent of beach.

They call it The Crescent... It's a 12-mile-long beach. I walked, jogged, swam the motherfucking crescent every fucking day.

I was healed of many things in Florida. Both physical and psychological.

— Doc Velocity

[LaResistencia]

I find it hard to believe that your pride didn't go away sooner than your animal instincts came, Doc.

[DocVelocity]

Why? Because I was a fucking bouncer at a lingerie modeling agency? Hey, I remained proud, I still had several layers of dignity to go, in my mind, at that time. Pride can get you through certain specific situations, like shooting pool with fucking bikers who don't like you; but when it comes down to Man vs Nature, all that silly shit MUST go out the window. The gameboard is RESET.

— Doc Velocity

[LaResistencia]

Why? Because I was a fucking bouncer at a lingerie modeling agency? Hey, I remained proud, I still had several layers of dignity to go, in my mind, at that time. Pride can get you through certain specific situations, like shooting pool with fucking bikers who don't like you; but when it comes down to Man vs Nature, all that silly shit MUST go out the window. The gameboard is RESET.

— Doc Velocity
What I'm saying is that I find it hard to believe that you went that long without eating when you could have simply walked into any church and told them you were hungry. Or, knocked on the back door of a restaurant. Or, asked for change or food outside of a grocery store.

You were not in the wilderness. You were in a tourist area. If you are getting to the point where dogs and seagulls start looking tasty, something is very wrong. Either you are lying and you never got to that point and did in fact get food in some way. Or, your ego and pride is so fucking inflated you need to be locked up at the funny farm.

If a person is hungry enough, they will ask for food or change. Even if panhandling will get you harassed by the police. Which, it shouldn't unless you are harassing people because panhandling is protected under freedom of speech.

[skunk]

Either you are lying

Doc, lie? Exaggerate? Never.

[DocVelocity]

What I'm saying is that I find it hard to believe that...protected under freedom of speech.

Well, you don't know the whole story. It was very convoluted and nasty. See, it wasn't just a matter of me being homeless, or destitute, the MAIN POINT is that I was on the run. I couldn't show my face in some places, I tried to keep my head low, I was looking over my shoulder all the time, I slept in the trees and the bushes at beachfront, and when somebody said Hey, Charlie, que paso? I fucking DUCKED.

See, it wasn't just homeless and broke. It was desperate. Cornered rat sort of shit.

— Doc Velocity

[DocVelocity]

Doc, lie? Exaggerate? Never.

I don't. Cunt.

— Doc Velocity

[DocVelocity]

I'm not saying I was starving the whole time I was in Florida. I wasn't. It was right there at the end, that last six months, when shit really went downhill.

And, no, I don't care how hungry I ever got, I never fucking begged or panhandled. That's a fucking con-game. People walk up to you in a parking lot and Gee, mister, I gotta get across town in an hour, but I don't have the gas, can you spare a couple of bucks God Bless you.

That's all con-game, you'll usually see them working in threes. One will be sitting on the curb with a "Will Wurk for Food" sign, and down the block there's a fucking woman working the parking lot with the "two dollars for gas" bit, and up the street there's another one claiming he just needs a few bucks to feed his kids, because he's traveling across the country with these kids trying to find their momma, right?

There are no kids, there is no cross-town trip, there's just the same old panhandling bullshit that's been handed down for ages, and they don't want FOOD, motherfucker. They're not trying to feed hungry babies.

They is feedin that old Crack pipe, dass what they dune. That old boy who will "work for food" ends his day by walking around the corner and getting in a truck with that gas woman from the parking lot and that guy with the vaporous traveling children, and they all count the haul and it comes to, FUCK, over a hundred dollars, man they ALL gettin high tonight!

And that's the other side of the story. Because I've watched their asses, I have scrutinized them.

I am telling you, there is a strata of people who do not aspire to anything but fucking you over. And you KNOW dat's right.

— Doc Velocity

[DocVelocity]

You were not in the wilderness. You were in a tourist area.... your ego and pride is so fucking inflated you need to be locked up at the funny farm.

I'm telling you, baby, Florida is a mean place. You're laid back there in Georgia, but Atlanta is a hellhole of con-games. And not even SMART con-games. Atlanta is trashy, but not as bad as Detroit. But don't worry, under the Obama administration, ALL metropolitan areas will be just as trashy as Detroit and Atlanta! YAAAAAY!!!!!

Yeah, I was raised in East Texas and brought up to believe that you can ascend the fucking golden tower of wealth and success if you have a normal brain, an indomitable will, and a 10-inch dick that is numb at the tip. I was taught that the woman cums first. I was taught to eat the pussy, make the woman your motherfucking goddess above all else.

Aside from that, GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY WAY.

So... You see that I have a quantity of pride in myself (which is totally unwarranted), but Pride comes in handy sometimes. I don't let go of my pride. Maybe it's my fucking royal blood, eh? You've discussed royal blood in AmKon before, I imagine.

— Doc Velocity

[Remixtup]

I would.


http://i786.photobucket.com/albums/yy141/Remixtup/brainsandwich.jpg

anyone for a fried brain sandwich?

http://i786.photobucket.com/albums/yy141/Remixtup/when_i_get_stoned_trollcat.jpg