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the titan
03-27-2008, 06:48 PM
Ah, finally the train made a stop. I can now get off and walk in more than a straight line. “What town are we in?” you say to yourself. As you wander away from the train station, you hear the horn sound and the train takes off just as you get back to it. “Oh well, more time for me to explore the town” you think. As you turn up the road that leads further into town, you notice you haven’t seen anyone since getting off the train.

As you walk around looking for something to tell you where you are, you find a strange looking key lying on the sidewalk. Since there is nobody around, you decide to pick it up. Continuing on your journey to find anyone to talk to, you notice that all the buildings look the same, except one. You decide to go in only to find the door locked. “Wait.” you think. Reaching in your pocket and pulling out the key, you notice the key is shaped just like the building. You unlock the door, and walk in.

As you wander around the entry room, you notice a photo on the wall. You walk over to it and just stare. You seem to know the person on it, but you just can’t figure out where from. It is of a guy about 20 years older than you and it appears that his family is in the photo as well, his beautiful wife and twin boys that couldn’t be out of school yet. Moving away from the picture, you go to the next room. Suddenly, you hear a noise. It sounds like someone is walking toward you. You quickly try to hide, but to no avail. “STOP!” you hear. Freezing in your tracks, you can tell the man is getting closer and closer. “You are not supposed to be here” he states. You try to tell him you are sorry and that your train left without you. “What train?” he asks, “There are no trains that come through here anymore” You insist that you just got off a train to stretch your legs no longer than an hour ago. “There is no way you should be here” he says.

As you turn to face the man, you notice it’s the same guy from the photo. You still can’t seem to place what looks so familiar about him. “I’ll show you that you couldn’t have gotten off a train here, come with me.” You follow the man to his car. “Man, I’ve always wanted one of these” you say “It’s my dream car.” As you set off on your way back to the train station, you notice the town looks different. Upon getting to the station, you see it boarded up. The station is closed. As you turn to ask the man how long it has been closed, you get hit hard in the back of the head.

Opening your eyes, you notice you are on the same train you were on before. “Have I been asleep the whole time?’ you wonder. You decide to get something to drink. Exiting your car and walking to the bar, you still can’t quite figure out what happened. It seems more and more like a dream. As you try to pay for the drink, you reach in your pocket to grab your money, and you feel something. The key! It couldn’t have been a dream.

Arriving at your destination, you notice a beautiful young woman, about your age. You think she looks a bit familiar. She is almost staring at you, trying to seduce you with her eyes. You go over to talk to her and it seems that you two have a lot in common. You ask her out and she says she’d be more than happy. You date each other for about a year before getting married. You seem to have found your soul mate. You call her up to see how her day is going, and she tells you about how she had a doctor appointment. “What for?” you ask. “Well,” she says “I have some big news. I’ll tell you when you get home.”

Wondering what it could be, you start getting worried. It seems like the day is dragging by. As you rush home at the end of the day, your wife is waiting for you. “What’s this news?” you ask “Are you alright?” She tells you to sit down. “I’m pregnant” she says. “And that’s not all, its twins.”

the titan
03-27-2008, 06:49 PM
It sucks........ I know.

VampQueen
03-27-2008, 07:39 PM
I liked it. :)

Haven't read one hear yet that wasn't any good. (except for mine of course :lol: )

Lexion
03-27-2008, 07:41 PM
I liked.

Regards,
Lex

mojo
03-27-2008, 07:46 PM
Don't sell yourself short mate, it's a great concept.

I enjoyed it. :)

What is it about these train story's all turning into time travel catalogues. :lol:

I've never been completely happy with a story i've written yet, you always look back at it after posting and think "oh if only i'd done this or that", or at least i always do. :D

Takes balls, or in VampQueen's case ovaries, to put your stuff out there for the world to see. keep em comin'.

the titan
03-27-2008, 07:59 PM
The whole time I was writing it, I knew it could be better, I just wanted to finish it in time

JiveTurkey
04-05-2008, 08:09 PM
The whole time I was writing it, I knew it could be better, I just wanted to finish it in time



The ultimate writing dilemma.


It can ALWAYS be better. Especially to the author.



:)


I'm reading it now.


Jasn