Spanking Children Leads to Problems in Later Life

[Iori Komei]

Parents who teach "tough love" by disciplining their children with spankings could be making them more likely to have sexual problems as teenagers and adults, a leading researcher said.

Professor Murray Straus, of the University of New Hampshire, found that children who are spanked or experience other corporal punishment have a raised risk as teenagers and adults to verbally or physically coerce a partner into having sex.

Straus analyzed the results of the International Dating Violence Study, a survey of more than 14,000 university students at 68 universities in 32 countries. The students were asked if they had been spanked or hit frequently before age 12 and if they had coerced a sexual partner in the previous 12 months.


SOURCE:
news.Yahoo.com (http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20080229/lf_nm_life/children_spanking_dc)


I've alsways said using physical force against children would lead to bad things in life and now there's more proof of it.

I think they should do a study of Rapists to see how many of them were spanked or physically disciplined as kids.

[mojo]

I think its crap.

Me and my sisters were spanked as kids, sure i went of the rails a bit but all my sisters are perfectly well adjusted people, 2 of them in jobs that require stringent physcological testing.

I have never raped, killed or abused anyone.

Its just gives criminals and their scumbag lawyers more ammunition to use in court.
"Oh your honour he couldnt help himself, his parents used to spank him as a child, i think probation would be appropriate due to this".

I have spanked my kids on occasion when i believe that they have deserved it and after exhausting all other forms of punishment and will continue to do so.

Its looking for excuses imo.

[Yo Mama]

I beg to differ, mojo.

I was beaten badly as a child, and it has caused me no end of problems. I've done nothing but make bad choices in relationships because I learned 1) that love equals pain and 2) that I'm worthless -- true or not, that's what I learned.

Is it ever acceptable to hit another person -- an adult -- to resolve a difference? I'm not talking about two drunks beating on each other over stupid drunk shit, but say, the bank screws up on your checking account and so you go down and punch the bank manager out.

If it's unacceptable to settle differences with other adults by hitting, it should be even more unacceptable to hit a child, who is smaller and defenseless.

I've never laid a hand on my kids in anger and I never will. My own experience with being beaten showed me the light, and I'd never wish this level of pain on my kids.

[mojo]

Im not talking about beating the shit out of kids, the article said
spanking. I dont support beating or punching kids at all.

I would never beat my kids, i dont care what anyone says there is a difference between a beating and a quick sharp smack on the
ass.
My 11 year old has probably only ever been smacked 3 or 4 times
and the 7 yr olds maybe a couple of times, the youngest not at all.

Imo, there are too many excuses for people to explain antisocial behaviour, anti social people are jerks.
You see and hear about people who have been given every chance in life who had fantastic up bringings and they are still complete assholes.

but i guess we'll differ on this one.

Woot, you have someone to argue with. :D

[vckums]

I've spanked my kids. I would never beat them. I was spanked as a child and so was my brother. It was usually a belt or the hand. My Mom would tell us "wais til Dad gets home". We knew we were screwed then. We aren't screwed up(no comments from the peanut gallery!)

My kids have learned that when Mom gives them a look to back off. My youngest is the one who pushes that button but he's learning. The other two know better.

A swat on the ass to make a point IMO is ok. Beating a child where there's marks, bruises, broken bones not ok.

[JiveTurkey]

The following is my opinion based on simple powers of observation.




SPANKING children is healthy for them. By my definition, spanking is mild physical discipline used to help them learn the difference between right and wrong.

PHYSICALLY ABUSING children is just as horrible for them as it is for adults who are subject to it.



I don't think it's any coincidence that the growing number of 20 somethings being completely useless to society (ie: whoring, drugging, staying drunk CONSTANTLY and being as dumb as a block of soap) coincides with the whole "soft love" movement BULLSHIT in this country.

Ever since this whole philosophy of "put them in the corner" or "try to talk with them about it" and "reward systems for good behavior" began to really take hole, the MORALITY of the most recent generations has been slipping farther and farther down the toilet.


Physical discipline is BY FAR the most effective parenting tool when it is used correctly to ensure that you children learn right from wrong and who "is the boss".

However, like anything else, it IS many times used in excess and leads to the exact opposite affect than intended.




It is my opinion that a parent's primary role in their child's life is teaching them how to be a good and healthy adult.

This being the case, SPANKING is FAR LESS like abuse than "reward system" style discipline.


I mean really, what kind of fucking sense does it make to try to sit a 5 year old down and RATIONALIZE with them? Not only do they not truly understand what you are telling them, they DO NOT CARE! They are fucking 5 for christ's sake.



If you truly want to raise a horrible adult, the next time your kid shows their ass about a toy in the middle of Wal-Mart, BUY IT FOR THEM and APOLOGIZE for not doing so sooner.

Put them in the corner for 5 minutes instead of giving them a REASONABLE smack on the hand or butt.

Try to be their best friend instead of their PARENT.


Follow the three suggestions above and you are VERY LIKELY (notice I said LIKELY) to raise a total shithead of an adult.


A LOVING parent does NOT spank their kids to hurt them, we spank them to TEACH them.




Jasn

[JiveTurkey]

I've spanked my kids. I would never beat them. I was spanked as a child and so was my brother. It was usually a belt or the hand. My Mom would tell us "wais til Dad gets home". We knew we were screwed then. We aren't screwed up(no comments from the peanut gallery!)

My kids have learned that when Mom gives them a look to back off. My youngest is the one who pushes that button but he's learning. The other two know better.

A swat on the ass to make a point IMO is ok. Beating a child where there's marks, bruises, broken bones not ok.




Indeed!



Their is a HUGE difference between "spanking" and "beating".



Though, I think the use of the belt is a bit excessive. A hand is enough.



Jasn

[vckums]

I did mean by hand, sorry for not clarifying it.

[JiveTurkey]

I did mean by hand, sorry for not clarifying it.


That's the way I took it hehe. I was referring to the use of a belt of you (if I understood that part correctly)


:)



Jasn

[mojo]

My parents used to use the wooden spoon. that sucker stung. :)
Ive only ever used my hand and then only a short, sharp smack on the ass.
There is a hell of a lot less physical punishment dished out
nowadays, has anti social behaviour improved? i dont think so, if
anything its worse.

[JiveTurkey]

My parents used to use the wooden spoon. that sucker stung. :)
Ive only ever used my hand and then only a short, sharp smack on the ass.
There is a hell of a lot less physical punishment dished out
nowadays, has anti social behaviour improved? i dont think so, if
anything its worse.



haha


My mom was never good at spanking me.

However, she once used a "switch" on me and that fucker HURT! From then on, she just said, "GO GET ME A SWITCH" and that was it, I was doing whatever she wanted me to do to avoid that bad boy haha.


Of course, there was always, "I'm gonna tell your daddy." That was very effective as well.


The majority of my ass whippins' came before I was 6 or 7. I had learned by then.



Surprisingly (or not-so), I have made a habit out of staying outta trouble my entire adult life.


:P


Jasn

[Lexion]

My mom used to beat the shit
outta me, but look how I
turned out.

Wait........n/m....

[mojo]

My mom used to beat the shit
outta me, but look how I
turned out.

Wait........n/m....

It obviously only works on some. :D

[Boondock]

peoples opinions are already fixed on shit like this, as is mine....imo non professional opinion, spanking your kid will not lead to any of this shit.....we are talking normal, average smack on the ass spankings here.
now, if you want to start talking about abuse and beating, well, that is something all together different.

[forestlady]

I don't know if it leads to criminally violent behavior, I think it depends also on what other factors are involved.

I do think it's not good to spank kids. What they learn from that is that things can be resolved with violence and also that the grownups have all the power and you are powerless. Giving them choices and time-outs works better, IMO. They can choose to not do the dishes and not go to the movie or to do the dishes and get to go to the movie. Time-outs help them learn to control their own behavior and go cool off before they unleash their anger on someone else.

It makes no sense to me to tell Johnny to quit hitting his sister and then turn around and spank/hit him. The parent is still raising a hand to their child and the kid learns that iti s normal to be hit.

There is a terrific book by Alice Miller "For Your Own Good" and she talks about the roots of violence in childhood. She makes an excellent case against spanking kids. I've known alot of people who weren't spanked as kids and they don't cause trouble or act out, they're very well-adjusted.
My two cents.

[Foxtrot Oscar]

OK. There is as many before me have mentioned a big difference between a spank/smack on the ass and a beating.

My boy has gotten a few smacks over the last few years, he's a little rascal... errr a cheeky monkey if you prefer!

Normally he just gets some room time and then a chat with Daddy!

BUT... My friend's kid is 11 and has never been smacked and he treats his parents like shit, gets his own way constantly and is turning in to a right little fat bastard.

He's a sexual deviant in the making... I'm sure of it!

Different strokes for different folks.

Fox

[GhostOfCaptSpaulding]

Personally, I think a quick kick in the ass with the side of your boot, lightly applied in a timely and loving fashion should work wonders.

Works on my dog...http://i233.photobucket.com/albums/ee162/21b45o13x25c54o34d45e/icons/okej.gif

[vckums]

Big dog? Little dog? I think I'd send mine flying. Might be a good thing tho

[GhostOfCaptSpaulding]

He's a big boy, and it's only a slight "boof, " more a shove than anything, just enough to let him know I'm not happy with his behavior.

I'd rather cut my leg off than do anything that would ever hurt him.

He's my biggest fan.

And he loves and trusts me unconditionally, I gotta live up to that trust.

[dk3000]

:evil:

There are many opinions on this. For starters there are many people who are old now who claim that they learned a lot from spankings and it made them the upstanding people they are today.

Well these upstanding people are fucking up the entire planet, children, society and everything else they fucking touch. There is no end to their greed, arrogance and stupidity.

I barely escaped my childhood- and there are times that I am "clouded" on this issue- but one thing is for certain. The old timers in charge are in fact fucking everything up.

I say turn the reigns over to children and lets see how they do!

We are out of options. IMHO of course. :roll:

Training children how to always come from love is a fantastic and beautiful thing- however- being that Evil is running the show on planet Earth, it is also setting kids up to be naive and easily taken advantage of.

[vckums]

:evil:

There are many opinions on this. For starters there are many people who are old now who claim that they learned a lot from spankings and it made them the upstanding people they are today.

Well these upstanding people are fucking up the entire planet, children, society and everything else they fucking touch. There is no end to their greed, arrogance and stupidity.


Who are these people?

[dk3000]

:evil:

There are many opinions on this. For starters there are many people who are old now who claim that they learned a lot from spankings and it made them the upstanding people they are today.

Well these upstanding people are fucking up the entire planet, children, society and everything else they fucking touch. There is no end to their greed, arrogance and stupidity.


Who are these people?

"These people" are the people who are running the country as adults now who claim that a good old fashioned spanking made them the upstanding people they are today.

[vckums]

The reason I asked is that I was spanked as a kid, Im older now and I think I am a good person. I don't run the country obviously, but I "run" my family. Just curious that's all.