Occam
02-20-2008, 09:07 PM
As I came out of a market I saw a young woman with two little kids in tow putting something under car's wipers. I grabbed it from my windshield and drove home. Then I read it. It was a stupid little comic book about being saved, and had a Baptist church address on the back cover. It pissed me off so I wrote the following and looked for her for months. Never found her.
Occam
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Virgin Birth
By Occam
Moisha had traveled more widely than most Rabbis and had been exposed to the writings of his own religion and the philosophy of other cultures, especially that of the Greeks and Romans. He had taken the position in a small town after the prior Rabbi had moved on. Because of his wisdom, knowledge and skill at reasoning the citizens revered him greatly. However, he was still a man. The young daughter of one of the members was extremely attractive and far more intelligent than any of the young men who were Moisha’s students, and she worshiped him.
While he desired her he knew that loss of her virginity would be an economic catastrophe to her family, so he introduced her to the joys of manual and oral sex while avoiding anything more. Still, they both desired to lie together joined as do husband and wife. Moisha felt her and found her hymen was thicker than most with only a small hole to allow her monthly flow to exit. He decided that if he were careful he could slide himself between her lips but not penetrate her maidenhead and still satisfy them both. They tried this and it was highly enjoyable. He didn’t realize that depositing his semen just outside her hymen meant it would be more difficult for his carriers of life to reach their goal, but it would not be impossible. Two years after they had discovered this method of enjoying each other they found that Mary was pregnant.
Both of them were worried because of the obvious consequences to them since he was married and she had to be a virgin if she hoped to wed. An older man in the town had often confided to the Rabbi that he desired to court Mary, but the Rabbi had told him it was not yet time, because he didn’t want anything to interfere with his own relationship with the girl. Now, he called Joseph to him and said it was time.
Mary’s parents had seen her swelling stomach and knew she was no longer a virgin. This meant there would be no dowry when a husband took her, if any of the men even would. To verify this, her mother felt her daughter’s opening and was surprised to find her hymen still in place. How could this be? She told her husband who checked for himself. This seemed impossible so he called on the Rabbi. “Rabbi Moisha, Joseph, a good man, has stated his desire to marry my daughter, but we are very confused. Although she still has her maidenhead she appears to be with child. How can this be, and what can we do? If she is not a virgin we will not get the dowry which we sorely need.”
Moisha knew precisely what had happened, but being a very intelligent man he said, “If you do not lie, then this may be a miracle. Bring her to the town elders. We shall have a closed meeting of them and their wives where they can verify this.” At the meeting the girl was told to lie on a table and open herself. Then, in turn, each old man and his wife carefully probed her and assured themselves that she was, indeed, a virgin.
On questioning her they found that she had not had her monthly period of uncleanness for five months, and she was obviously very large in her lower stomach while the rest of her body was still that of a lean young girl.
“Oh Rabbi, how is this possible?” the chief elder asked.
“In my travels I have read of the prediction that our savior would be born of woman who had not known man. If this is true we must keep word of this within our village because there are many who would kill the child to protect their own power.” They all agreed, but one of the men mentioned it to a spice and essence merchant passing through town. Meanwhile the Rabbi spoke to Joseph and told him of his opportunity to be father of their savior. Joseph, a good if rather dull man, was delighted at the honor and asked Mary’s hand in marriage.
Joseph had business in Bethlehem so they traveled there where Mary gave birth. The spice merchant and two of his friends knew of the miracle child so they paid their respect with gifts of the products they sold.
When they brought the child back to their village, the kindly Rabbi took him under his wing and taught him the philosophies of many countries. The citizens of the town joked that the boy spent so much time with Moisha that he was beginning to look like him. They didn’t know that the resemblance was much more than association or coincidence. Fortunately, the child received both his mother’s and his father’s intelligence. His brothers and sisters who followed, however, inherited Joseph’s limited thought processes.
Moisha hoped to derail these observations by the townspeople so he convinced the boy’s parents to send him on a quest for knowledge. Moisha gave the boy a route through Jordan, toward the east, and through the best centers of learning in the known world. It took over ten years but when the boy returned he was wise beyond his years and became a great religious teacher. He had figured out that his father was really Moisha, that he had been born of a union out of wedlock, and this helped him develop a much more forgiving and accepting kind of ethics which eventually took his name.
He believed that everyone should listen to the words of others, but each should form his own beliefs without coercion. He knew that many accept the written word as authority without thinking or developing their own wisdom, so he refused to write down his ideas. In addition, the written word remains rigid and doesn’t change with changing times, conditions and with increasing knowledge. Some of his most ardent followers became apostles, added their own ideas, and taught others. However, after his death most of them wrote what they remembered of his teachings but slanted it toward their own beliefs.
A young man who had much more punitive and odd ideas hoped to teach them to the citizens. At first no one accepted them, then he heard the apostles preaching and realized their message was widely accepted. This would be a good vehicle for imposing his own beliefs. He joined the other apostles and began to preach, but he completely misunderstood the teachings of their mentor and rewrote the documents of the earlier apostles to include his often irrational ideas which, unfortunately, are the basis for much of today’s Christianity.
Occam
=========
Virgin Birth
By Occam
Moisha had traveled more widely than most Rabbis and had been exposed to the writings of his own religion and the philosophy of other cultures, especially that of the Greeks and Romans. He had taken the position in a small town after the prior Rabbi had moved on. Because of his wisdom, knowledge and skill at reasoning the citizens revered him greatly. However, he was still a man. The young daughter of one of the members was extremely attractive and far more intelligent than any of the young men who were Moisha’s students, and she worshiped him.
While he desired her he knew that loss of her virginity would be an economic catastrophe to her family, so he introduced her to the joys of manual and oral sex while avoiding anything more. Still, they both desired to lie together joined as do husband and wife. Moisha felt her and found her hymen was thicker than most with only a small hole to allow her monthly flow to exit. He decided that if he were careful he could slide himself between her lips but not penetrate her maidenhead and still satisfy them both. They tried this and it was highly enjoyable. He didn’t realize that depositing his semen just outside her hymen meant it would be more difficult for his carriers of life to reach their goal, but it would not be impossible. Two years after they had discovered this method of enjoying each other they found that Mary was pregnant.
Both of them were worried because of the obvious consequences to them since he was married and she had to be a virgin if she hoped to wed. An older man in the town had often confided to the Rabbi that he desired to court Mary, but the Rabbi had told him it was not yet time, because he didn’t want anything to interfere with his own relationship with the girl. Now, he called Joseph to him and said it was time.
Mary’s parents had seen her swelling stomach and knew she was no longer a virgin. This meant there would be no dowry when a husband took her, if any of the men even would. To verify this, her mother felt her daughter’s opening and was surprised to find her hymen still in place. How could this be? She told her husband who checked for himself. This seemed impossible so he called on the Rabbi. “Rabbi Moisha, Joseph, a good man, has stated his desire to marry my daughter, but we are very confused. Although she still has her maidenhead she appears to be with child. How can this be, and what can we do? If she is not a virgin we will not get the dowry which we sorely need.”
Moisha knew precisely what had happened, but being a very intelligent man he said, “If you do not lie, then this may be a miracle. Bring her to the town elders. We shall have a closed meeting of them and their wives where they can verify this.” At the meeting the girl was told to lie on a table and open herself. Then, in turn, each old man and his wife carefully probed her and assured themselves that she was, indeed, a virgin.
On questioning her they found that she had not had her monthly period of uncleanness for five months, and she was obviously very large in her lower stomach while the rest of her body was still that of a lean young girl.
“Oh Rabbi, how is this possible?” the chief elder asked.
“In my travels I have read of the prediction that our savior would be born of woman who had not known man. If this is true we must keep word of this within our village because there are many who would kill the child to protect their own power.” They all agreed, but one of the men mentioned it to a spice and essence merchant passing through town. Meanwhile the Rabbi spoke to Joseph and told him of his opportunity to be father of their savior. Joseph, a good if rather dull man, was delighted at the honor and asked Mary’s hand in marriage.
Joseph had business in Bethlehem so they traveled there where Mary gave birth. The spice merchant and two of his friends knew of the miracle child so they paid their respect with gifts of the products they sold.
When they brought the child back to their village, the kindly Rabbi took him under his wing and taught him the philosophies of many countries. The citizens of the town joked that the boy spent so much time with Moisha that he was beginning to look like him. They didn’t know that the resemblance was much more than association or coincidence. Fortunately, the child received both his mother’s and his father’s intelligence. His brothers and sisters who followed, however, inherited Joseph’s limited thought processes.
Moisha hoped to derail these observations by the townspeople so he convinced the boy’s parents to send him on a quest for knowledge. Moisha gave the boy a route through Jordan, toward the east, and through the best centers of learning in the known world. It took over ten years but when the boy returned he was wise beyond his years and became a great religious teacher. He had figured out that his father was really Moisha, that he had been born of a union out of wedlock, and this helped him develop a much more forgiving and accepting kind of ethics which eventually took his name.
He believed that everyone should listen to the words of others, but each should form his own beliefs without coercion. He knew that many accept the written word as authority without thinking or developing their own wisdom, so he refused to write down his ideas. In addition, the written word remains rigid and doesn’t change with changing times, conditions and with increasing knowledge. Some of his most ardent followers became apostles, added their own ideas, and taught others. However, after his death most of them wrote what they remembered of his teachings but slanted it toward their own beliefs.
A young man who had much more punitive and odd ideas hoped to teach them to the citizens. At first no one accepted them, then he heard the apostles preaching and realized their message was widely accepted. This would be a good vehicle for imposing his own beliefs. He joined the other apostles and began to preach, but he completely misunderstood the teachings of their mentor and rewrote the documents of the earlier apostles to include his often irrational ideas which, unfortunately, are the basis for much of today’s Christianity.