I wish...

[JiveTurkey]

I ran across this on another forum and it seemed interesting. I'm leaving the OP's description and instructions.

This is a really funny game that isn' too hard to do. If you have a really good imagination, you'll love it! The Rules are Simple:

1. The first person posts a wish.

2. The second poster grants the first wish, but with a twist so the granted wish is rendered useless. They then wish for something of thier own.

Ex:
Poster #1: I wish I had a million dollars.

Poster #2: Granted, but you get it in pennies.


-----------------------------



I wish I had a new pair of dr. martens (20 eyelet, red "marble")

[Iamsix]

your wish has been granted...But they are size 2 and both are the left shoe.

My wish is to visit outer space

[JiveTurkey]

Granted, but you will be caught in a freak meteor shower and torn to pieces.


I wish I had a '79 trans am

[Tetsujin]

Granted! You go to space but run into reptilians who probe the living heck out of ya!

I wish for a new car!

[Iamsix]

I see that I am in the postion of granting 2 wishes..So be it.....

You wish for a 79 Trans am has been granted.....You may pick it up in the Hot Wheels Isle at your local store at any time


As for you new car......wish is granted....It is in 10,000 pieces...Some assembly required

I wish that Angelina Jolie was waiting for me naked in bed.....

[JiveTurkey]

Your wish is granted, and you shall catch Hepatitis C from her.

[Steve-o]

Wish I were actually Spider-man :( ........

[mojo]

Granted but your spider sense power has mutated so that you are only able to detect objects after they have hit you. :D




I wish i had a 7 inch tongue. :twisted:

[Tetsujin]

Granted your toung grows 7 inches...but you no longer have room for it your mouth and it dangles out of your mouth for the rest of your now lonley life.

[Iamsix]

My wish is that corey had actually posted a wish...It seems SOMEONE cant follow the rules very well

[Tetsujin]

Oh yeah....um...I wish I could just live my life with out nhaving to go to work!

[Iamsix]

Wish granted The ONLY problem with it is that you will suffer from terrible/incurable scabies and cannot work due to the HUGE drippy lesions

I wish I had my own private island to get away from Corey and his drippy lesions

[Yo Mama]

Did somebody say WISH? You get your island, but it's crawling with anthrax from government testing and is completely uninhabitable.

I wish I owned a chocolate factory.

[Iamsix]

Why let me grant you your wish...I just hope you can get rid of the permanent rat infestation whos droppings keep getting mixed in with the chocolate


I would like a boat....A Nice BIG boat

[Tetsujin]

Granted, but you are soon killed by your angry umpa loompa minons for not giving them any chocolate...you greedy person you...

I wish a brand new space shuttle made of solid gold!

[Yo Mama]

Double post! Cool!

You both get your wish, but the golden space shuttle melts on takeoff and falls on the boat, sinking both to the bottom of the deep blue sea.

I wish I owned that "other site" through a hostile takeover. :lol:

[Iamsix]

You wish is granted madame...Except it is now a sight for discussions on the mating habits of the platypus


I wish for a time machine

[Yo Mama]

You get your time machine, but when you go back to check out the past it breaks down leaving you the only human in the Cambrian Era. Have fun with that!

I wish, I wish, with a great swish swish for a fish upon my fish wish dish. (Bonus points to whoever can tell me what children's author is responsible for that).

[Iamsix]

Why thats the late great Theodor Geisel

You fish is given to you except it is a month old and been left out in the sun

I wish for a pet dino

[Tetsujin]

Granted...it eats you...

I wish Six would grow up and be seven, heck even eight!

[Yo Mama]

Nah, six is afraid of seven, because seven eight nine.

Now that I've got that out of my system, six grows up so much that he causes the earth's orbit to become erratic and the entire planet crashes into the moon, and is then sucked into the sun.

I wish I could get some uninterrupted sleep!

[Iamsix]

Granted...But you are kidnapped by seven smelly dwarfs who proceed to entomb you in a impenetrable crystal case. They end up using you as a coffee table because they lost the key to the lock to let Prince Charming kiss you.

I wish for......A wish

[mojo]

granted.....but just as your about to use your wish you sneeze and say'
"Damn colds, i wish my nose would stop running".
It does and you die because you dont have snot anymore, theres lots of good stuff in snot just ask BK.

I wish the roadworks outside my house would hurry up and finish so that i can get some sleep during the day.

[Yo Mama]

*poof* The roadworks accidentally go over your house while you're trying to sleep and now you're having the long dirt nap. Restful, isn't it? :lol:


I wish I could just stop itching! Stupid dry skin...

[Tetsujin]

Granted, but your skin becomes gooey and sticky due to all the extra moisture in it and you get stuck to your bed and never get up.

I wish I had a normal well paying job...

[Yo Mama]

Granted. now you're a garbage man. Hi, Stinky! :lol:

I wish my youngest would sleep through the night.

[Tetsujin]

Granted, but your youngest wakes up with the flu and has to stay home with you for a week (and not the nice flue the throwy upy kind)

I wish I had a girlfriend

[Yo Mama]

Granted! But she's a girly man. Who's the top, eh?

I wish my back didn't hurt.

[Tetsujin]

Granted! But the pain killers you get are adictive and now our a Oxy junkie!

I wish for the snow to go away!

[mojo]

Granted.....You now live in the Sahara desert.

I wish i had x-ray vision.

[Iamsix]

Granted...But your x-ray vision will burn a hole in anything you look at for longer than 1 sec.

I wish for a better computer

[Yo Mama]

Granted! Can you say, Open the Pod Bay Doors, HAL? :lol:

I wish they'd make the Dark Tower series into a movie series.

[Tetsujin]

Granted, but its rated PG and sucks major...well you know...

I wish for a pound of "pasrsley"....

[Yo Mama]

Granted! Now you can make lots and lots of Italian food, coz it's real parsley. :lol:

I wish my ex would turn into a decent human being.

[Tetsujin]

Granted, but he turns into a right wing neo con!

I wish for a nice new watch!

[Yo Mama]

Somebody you don't know keeps staring at you. Watching you, get it?

I wish I could take a nice vacation.

[Tetsujin]

Granted you get to go to beautiful Siberia! Hope you have a parka!

I wish for peace!

[Yo Mama]

did somebody say wish?

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v332/Kali_Ma/New/jambi.jpg

Granted! You are now locked in the vault of a bank that's gone out of business in an abandoned building in a ghost town. Peaceful, ain't it?

I wish the world made sense.

[Tetsujin]

Granted, now that the world makes sense all humans lose purpose in life and die off, thanks GN!

I wish I was God!

[JiveTurkey]

Granted but amidst the confusion of the transition, you are accidentally made god of the spoons. You spend the rest of your days (of which there are many) vengeful and ashamed.



I wish life didn't hurt so goddamn much.



Jasn

[Tetsujin]

Granted but you no longer feel anything, your dead

I wish I had a job durring the day

[JiveTurkey]

Granted. You are now the unwilling bitch of a large group of christian conservatives. Lucky for you, they don't "work" nights.



I wish I had a pepsi cola in the glass bottle.



Jasn

[Tetsujin]

Granted! But its so old when you toutch it, it shatters and cuts your hand up and they get infected and you die.

I wish for ron paul towin the election (lets see ya fuck that up!)

[Yo Mama]

Granted, but he turns out to be a major lunatic and the world ends with a bang. And not the good kind.

I wish I could have ONE DAY this winter without post nasal drip.

[Tetsujin]

Granted! But after that one day you come down with the Bird Flu

I wish for a magical land of wonderfulness to rule over!

[Yo Mama]

Granted: now you are Michael Jackson. Enjoy Neverland while you have it, freak of nature! :lol:


I wish my ex would disappear into a puff of his own anger.

[Tetsujin]

Granted, put it smells realy bad and taints you with the smell of rotten cabbage

I wish I could think of something to wish for....

[Iamsix]

Oz has granted you your wish. You are given the gift of a brain. But your IQ is just above luke warm tap water and all you are able to do is sit around with you fingers up you nose all day.

I need more time.

[VampQueen]

You have more time.......but all you can do with your time is sit and pick your nose. :P :lol:


I wish my parents would go on a looong vacation. :twisted:

[Steve-o]

Your wish will be granted but ya still won't be able to see me :P :lol:


I wish I could visit VampQueen right now ?? :)

[Yo Mama]

You get to her place only to find out she's gone to yours. Bummer, man.

I wish I had a huge turkey dinner with all the trimmings.

[Iamsix]

I grant your wish, except your late for dinner and there is nothing left but bones and grisel


I wish for spring to arrive

[Yo Mama]

Ah, spring arrives, complete with too much pollen that inflames your allergies so badly you are on Claritin for the next six months.

I wish the elections were over already.

[Iamsix]

As you wish...The elections are over and the honorable Rev Al Sharpton/Jesse Jackson win by a suprising landslide.

I wish that I had a private plane

[GhostOfCaptSpaulding]

Granted! But the privates take over the plane and force you to land in an unchartered wilderness and commit unspeakable acts with a moose and a squirrel.

I wish there were more ways to skin a cat.

[Foxtrot Oscar]

Granted: You are visited by a predator who shows you several new and interesting ways to skin a cat... It then skins you alive starting with your happy sausage!

I wish for food (I'm really hungry and sooo can't be arsed to make anything!)

Fox

[BlackBlood]

granted, but im cooking it for you..mashed eye sandwich.


i wish i could play with mojos tounge.

:D

[Foxtrot Oscar]

Granted: but it's been removed from his head and is all dry and shriveled up.

I wish for bananas

Fox

[skunk]

Your wish is my command, but the bananas were only a figment of your imagination. So you're still hungry.

I wish I had a brain.

[GhostOfCaptSpaulding]

Granted! But the brain is in a jar, waaay up on the top shelf and you're unable to formulate a cohesive plan to gain access to that which is out of reach, due to your lacking a brain to begin with.

I wish your feet didn't smell.

[skunk]

My feet don't smell, thanks for asking though so I guess that's already granted.


Your feet however have a parasitic fungus that eat through flesh and cause brain tumors. You have 5 days to live.


I wish to not be infected with your hideous foot fungicidal brain tumor parasite.

[GhostOfCaptSpaulding]

Granted! Instead, you are infected with dbates' and jsobecky's undying admiration and they hound you daily and incessantly with multiple u2u's (taxing the flood control system to near breaking) professing their love and respect for your opinions and insight.


I wish my feet smelled as good as yours.

[skunk]

Granted but I actually caught your foot fungus so we're both in the same boat now.



I wish to be GOD OF EVERYTHING AND RULE THE WORLD MUAHAHAHA

[GhostOfCaptSpaulding]

Granted!

But you're made the god of the Who world and your kingdom winds up being wholly dependent on the good intentions of a simple animated elephant named Horton voiced by Jim Carrey, who really doesn't care about anyone but himself.

I wish I'd taken better care of my Dr Seuss books as a kid.

[skunk]

Fine, but it turns our Dr Seuss was a raging lunatic bent on subjugating the entire pygmy race of Indonesia. It turns out he had a crush on you too, just to add insult to injury. Not a great child writer now is he?


I wish I had unlimited wishes so I could wish for anything that I wished for.

[VampQueen]

Granted.

But you wish so many times that it causes everyone including you to die and the earth to implode.

I wish I was a cool vampire.

[GhostOfCaptSpaulding]

And a drunk, too! :D


Your wish is granted!

Unfortunately, your having unlimited wishes violently rends the fabric of space/time and you disappear forever into a quantum singularity of infinite possibilities.


I wish, I wish, I wish I were a fish.

Oops, I took too long to grant bs's wish!

[skunk]

Alright I guess you can be a fish, but it turns out I made you a freshwater fish and you swam into a saltwater pond. Sorry, but you're dead.

I wish for world peace.

[GhostOfCaptSpaulding]

Alright I guess you can be a fish, but it turns out I made you a freshwater fish and you swam into a saltwater pond. Sorry, but you're dead.

I wish for world peace.


Your wish is granted!

The Shrub nukes Iran setting off WWWIII everyone is rendered into radioactive ash and the world is finally at peace.


I wish I was Angelina Jolie's bicycle seat.

[GhostOfCaptSpaulding]

Granted.

But you wish so many times that it causes everyone including you to die and the earth to implode.

I wish I was a cool vampire.

Granted!

You're now a cool vampire, but that's only because your coffin was moved out side during a blizzard and you're now frozen solid.



I wish I was invisible.

[skunk]

You're angelina jolie's invisible bicycle seat. Turns out, she's a man and her sweaty balls drip all over your face. I hope you don't mind.

I wish I was cool.

[GhostOfCaptSpaulding]

Granted! You're the cool on Angelina Jolie's sweaty balls as she raises up to get them off my scratchy, bewhiskered, invisible bicycle seat face.

I wish I wasn't laughing so hard at the thought of you being the cool on Angelina Jolie's balls.

[skunk]

You stop laughing when Angelina's balls get stuck in your invisible seat's mouth. You're choking and..well it turns out you now have herpes.


I wish I didn't have backne and dickne.

[GhostOfCaptSpaulding]

Granted!

But it reconfigures and attacks your ass, leading to an incurable attack of ass-ne.

I wish jsobecky would pull his head out of dbates ass, or was it the other way around?

[Foxtrot Oscar]

Granted: But now he has his cock up there instead.

I wish my wife was a mute.

Fox

[GhostOfCaptSpaulding]

granted!

But she's still got a mean left hook!


I wish the next mother fucker that blows the stop sign rams right into a cop!

[Iamsix]

May I grant your wish...this shall come to pass, but as the cop car get slammed it flips over on to you as you are taking your 3 ferrets for a walk


I wish for a vacation

[Boondock]

you can take your vacation any time you want...

i wish i could get a boner

[Foxtrot Oscar]

You have WOOD! But your wood is so good that you pass out, not enough O2 in the brain BIG BOY.

I wish I wish for fish!

Fox

[Yo Mama]

Congratulations! You have a plate of fugu. Unfortunately the chef prepared it wrong. What a way to go.


I wish my son would take his freaking nap already.

[Iamsix]

Ahhh my dear your wish has been granted....His nap will be sooooo refreshing, he will not need another one, ever. As a matter of fact he will need less than 2 hours of sleep each day to recharge the batteries.

I need a nap

[Foxtrot Oscar]

You have a wonderful nap, only to wake and find that the whole world is being run by monkeys.

I wish I could have a nice solid stool!

Fox

[skunk]

Ok, you get a solid stool, but it turns out to be too solid and your colon rips in half leaving you unable to poop at all.

Sucks to be you.


I wish I had an unlimited supply of greens and hash.

[GhostOfCaptSpaulding]

Granted! All the turnip greens and corned beef hash you can eat!


I wish I hadn't looked at all those naked midget ladies.

[Martian Exile]

Granted! But while you were blindfolded, you knocked them all up, and owe them all child support.

I wish I had a peanut butter and Marmite sandwich.

[Yo Mama]

Granted! But the combination turns out to be a deadly poison and even though the hospital saves your life, you will be a vegetable for the rest of it.


I wish the ATS staff didn't have such big sticks up their butts.

[Foxtrot Oscar]

Granted: But now they're all up your fanny (British or American you can choose).

I wish I could fly.

Fox

[Yo Mama]

Oh, but you can! You are accidentally dosed with a massive amount of LSD and go for a walk off the balcony of a high rise. you fly all the way to the ground.


I wish these sticks were out of my butt now. They are awfully uncomfortable.

[GhostOfCaptSpaulding]

Granted! But after having the sticks gone you decide you liked them better up your butt, but now they've been shoved back up the butts of the staff AT Some other site and they won't let you in to retrieve them.

I wish I could go out in such a blaze of glory AT Some other site that it will leave them gasping for air until they collapse under the weight of all their idiot, ad-clicking trolls.

[Yo Mama]

Semi-granted! And I didn't have to do anything! :lol:

I wish my ex would turn into a rational human being.

[GhostOfCaptSpaulding]

Granted! But then he finds jeebus and pesters you 24/7 to hear the word!


I wish that twitching-lip, laffing freak would infest misteroldschool's ass hairs.

[Foxtrot Oscar]

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

"To the ass hair! Hazzar!" said the twitchy little fuckers!

I wish monkeys would fly outta my butt.

Fox

[GhostOfCaptSpaulding]

Granted!

But they leave their fleas & flies behind!

Hah!

Fleas & Flies Behind!

Get it?




I wish that joke didn't suck.

[Foxtrot Oscar]

I'm sorry our wishes just aren't strong enough for that joke to stop sucking.

I wish I was allowed to fart in the living room.

FOX

[the titan]

Granted! But the room fills with methane and explodes when you turn on the light.

I wish I could be more fit

[Iamsix]

Granted. BUTTTTTTT in the process of getting fit, while lifting the weights, you prolapse you anus and have to shit in a bag for the rest of your life.

I wish for world peace

[Foxtrot Oscar]

Granted: But the trade off is a prolapsed anus!

I wish I had a prolapsed anus!

Fox

[Iamsix]

That is a odd wish to be sure but it is granted, but the next time you sit on the toilet and flush, your prolapsed anus will be grabbed by the swirling vortex of doom and you will be flushed away never to be heard from again


I wish for a trip to the mountains

[GhostOfCaptSpaulding]

Granted!

But your trip to the mountains veers tragically off course when FO's silent but deadly prolapsed anus - protruding six feet out from the end of the suction hose attached to the rear of the passing septic tank servicing vehicle - catches you around the neck as the truck screams by like a bat out of hell - spewing a fountain of feces, used condoms & tampons in it's malodorous wake - swiftly and violently yanking your head and spinal column straight out of your body in one lethal jerk; and as you quickly fade to unconsciousness for the last time - choking on the foul fountain of feces, used condoms & tampons - and, with the stench of FO's prolapsed anus searing your nostrils, your final thought flashes to the surface; "I knew I should'a made a left toin in Albuquoique!"


I wish I had back the time I spent writing the preceding sentence.

[vckums]

Wish granted kind sir. But that free time you just got back will be spent with ketchup bottles, duct tape, squishy socks and the word yellow screamed over and over.

I wish for a back rub.

[dk3000]

Granted- but goos is giving the message with one hand- his other hand is covered by a rubber glove which goes all the way up to his elbow and it is slathered in Crisco dangling dangerously close to to your butthole and when you look back at him your realize that his avatar is actually a recent picture of his face!

I wish there was no evil in this world.

[Foxtrot Oscar]

Granted: "Bing" The owners of a horrid website (a clue there's three of them!) drop stone cold dead as Jeebus starts to rid the world of evil.

I wish I didn't have to masturbate quite so often.

[Yo Mama]

Poof! Your dick falls off.


I wish for whirled peas.

[the titan]

Granted, but whirled peas was mistaken for world peace.



I wish I could make money sitting on my ass.

[Lexion]

Poof! Your dick falls off.

FTW !!!!!!

Awesome, my dear.

Regards,
Lex

PS : I was booted out of recess,
because I don't play.

Edit to add a quote.

[vckums]

Granted, but whirled peas was mistaken for world peace.



I wish I could make money sitting on my ass.

Wish granted but you now make money as a male fluffer for midgets in the porn industry.


I wish for a nekked hot guy to cook dinner.

[Yo Mama]

Granted, but whirled peas was mistaken for world peace.



I wish I could make money sitting on my ass.

Wish granted but you now make money as a male fluffer for midgets in the porn industry.




I have nothing to add to this thread except to say, "BAAHAHAAHAAAA! Fluffer!"

Please, someone else think of something for vckums, because I'm laughing too hard.

[Foxtrot Oscar]

Granted: While cooking he burns his todger, faints and bangs his noggin and dies you are in all the local news programs under the title of


Cawk Cooker

I wish my dick hadn't fallen off!!!

Fox

[GhostOfCaptSpaulding]

Granted!

Instead it's horribly mangled in a feverish bout of one man tug-o-war, comes off in your hand as it comes off in your hand, and in their attempt to reattach it, the doctors mistake your mouth for your ass and you now have a pecker where your nose once was. Which is actually good because now when you sneeze the gals come running.


I wish for sunshine, lollipops and rainbows.

[Martian Exile]

Granted, but while you get a sunburn, you gag on a lollypop and trip over the pot of gold, prompting the IRS to imprison you for tax evasion.

I wish that Godzilla would stomp all the Wallmarts in the world into cosmic dust.

[GhostOfCaptSpaulding]

Granted!

But for every one he stomps, two more spring up to replace them. And since Godzilla can never be defeated nor give up, every square inch of the entire world is soon covered in Wal*Marts three miles deep. Everyone still living - who doesn't work for Wal*mart - is forced to move underground to get away from them.



I wish there was more time in the day.

[Yo Mama]

Granted! You now live on Venus! (http://cseligman.com/text/sky/rotationvsday.htm)! It's very hot, yes?

I wish we could all just get along.

[Martian Exile]

Granted, but then everyone at amkon goes nuts from boredom, including you, and we end our days in rubber rooms, except Iori, who ends up caring for your kids.
I wish that Russian scientists would clone a pet Mastodon for me.

[Iamsix]

Your wish is granted, but while house training it, it takes a huge dump on you and you drown in feces.

I wish for a million gallons of gasoline

[GhostOfCaptSpaulding]

Granted!

But you have to carry it all home a teacup at a time, balanced on your forehead.


I wish I had a Massey Ferguson MF 9895 Axial Combine with the whopping 350 bushel grain tank with the extensions that quickly and conveniently fold down for reduced transport or storage height – no tools required!

[Cricket]

Granted!
But whilst playing with your new toy, you run over the family picnic killing you wife and children.

I wish I had common sense.

[Foxtrot Oscar]

Granted: You now understand that spending all day posting your random thoughts is somewhat pointless and go and live under a rock, feeding off food that is within 100m of said rock, you will live to 200, but be bored out of your common sense filled little mind!

I wish my tax forms would bugger off!

Fox

[Iamsix]

Why your wish is granted, but since you have decided to bugger off on your tax returns for the last 10 years, the gubment cattches up with you and puts you in prison for tax evasion. While in prison, you catch the eye of Butch the butcher who decides to take you as his bitch. You endure Butches affections 5 to 6 times a day for the entire length of you incarceration.

I wish to win the lottery

[the titan]

Granted... Unfortunately, it was just a scam to get your bank information and now they also stole your identity. You won't be able to buy anything due to bad credit.



I wish I could work at a different base.

[GhostOfCaptSpaulding]

Granted!

Now you work at Gitmo, cleaning soiled "detainee's" underwear.

I wish I was in Dixie, Hooray! Hooray!

[skunk]

Hooray, you made it to Dixie. Now you have the dixieland crabs.

I wish I had a brain :twisted:

[Foxtrot Oscar]

There you go you have a brain, one that needs very little sleep apparently!

I wish I couldn't seen 3" of ass crack (really nice ass as well) right now.

Fox

[the titan]

Granted!

Unfortunatly you will see 3" of everyone's ass crack everyday no matter where you go.


I wish I could get anything I wanted for free.

[GhostOfCaptSpaulding]

Granted!

But you soon grow weary of the miles and miles of free cawk and start paying for it again.

"'You know those ducks in that lagoon right near Central Park South? That little lake? By any chance, do you happen to know where they go, the ducks, when it gets all frozen over? Do you happen to know, by any chance?'" I wish I knew where they go.

[Martian Exile]

Granted,

But to learn, you follow them into the second dimension to The simpsons town of Springfield, where you are kidnaped by Flanders and turned into a Jebuz junky.

I wish the Lock Ness Monster would eat Oboma, Hillary, and McCain.

[GhostOfCaptSpaulding]

Granted!

But that much shit swallowed all at once is wholly indigestible and Nessie explosively vomits all three AND Zombie Reagan back up, joined at the hip, ready to sweep the "elections" and rule for a thousand years.

I wish Nessie had a stronger constitution.

[Martian Exile]

Granted!,

But she uses your gutts.

I wish that John Lear was president.

[GhostOfCaptSpaulding]

Granted!

He was! In many alternative multiverses, just not in this one, sorry.

I wish I had one hot tamale.

[Martian Exile]

Granted,

But she is a nut vampire, and she eats both of yours,

I wish I had a flying wiener dog that could take me anywhere I want to go.

[GhostOfCaptSpaulding]

Granted!

But he's fueled exclusively on the standard mystery meat Wienerschnitzel chili cheese dog, which is the only thing potent enough to produce the gas required to achieve lift-off. Overcome by the noxious fumes, you pass out over Little Harbor and are trampled underfoot by a herd of startled American Bison.
http://i233.photobucket.com/albums/ee162/21b45o13x25c54o34d45e/buffalo.jpg

I wish I had Wonder Wart Hog's Heffalump Dumpaloon.

[Martian Exile]

Granted,

But two seconds later you become an organ donor.

I wish the chemtrails would turn the Bigfoot species into carnivores with an insatiable thirst for the brains of park rangers.

[GhostOfCaptSpaulding]

Granted!

But the park rangers get a head start and all move to Hawaii, where there are no bigfoots* (http://www.bfro.net/GDB/) (bigfeets?) leaving the the bigfoot population to instead develop a taste for Martian brains; whatever you do, don't go outside after dark...





*BFRO Geographical Database of Bigfoot/Sasquatch Sightings & Reports (http://www.bfro.net/GDB/)

[Foxtrot Oscar]

I wish goos had made a wish.

Fox

[mojo]

I wish goos had made a wish.

Fox

Your wish is granted but goos wishes that you hadn't made that wish. ;)


I wish that peanut butter came in a strawberry flavour.

[Martian Exile]

Granted,

But evil Monsanto gen-mods the strawberrys to taste like vegimite.

I wish that all of Monsanto be shot by fireing squad.

[GhostOfCaptSpaulding]

Granted! With relish!

But the relish is made from Mosanto's GMO pickles causing the recently expired to jump back to life with a craving for Martian brains just like the Bigfoots(feets?); I thought I warned you to stay in after dark...

I wish I'd made a wish earlier instead of FO...

[Martian Exile]

Well poo, I need to fire this up again.

Granted,

But you wish for a 24” weenie, and because it is too big for your wife, she buys you a donkey.

I wish that Amkon’s own Indie was president, Kacen Secretary of War, and BS head of the Dept. of Agriculture.

[Yo Mama]

Granted! Welcome to WWIII. But at least the mutant veggie/cows are doing fine, thanks to BS's expertise.

I wish for whirled peas.

[Martian Exile]

Granted,

But the Martian, who is from another planet, takes you literally, and puts peas from his blender in your kitchen, where Distruckto boy finds it and smothers the walls with mushed up pea soup.

I wish that Steven Hawking would find Chi’s Photo Bucket post of her Grand Unification theory, so that we can all have magic carpets to ride around on.

[ChadAndrewAmKon]

:arg: "Granted. Oddly enough, he finds it in his own photobucket account! He makes a hard-copy of it, then he hops on his magic-carpet to deliver it to you, personally (rather than emailing it to you) ...eventually his magic carpet runs out of gas over Iraq ...as he's falling: he tries to open his parachute, but some crazy-ass marines see him, and they think he's some sort of flying-Arab/suicide-bomber, so they shoot him before his parachute expands."

"I wish aliens would stop abducting all kinds of creatures."

[GhostOfCaptSpaulding]

Granted!

Instead, they choose to only abduct dolphin riding, pot-smoking guinea pigs; dolphins, pot and all.

Since the aforementioned are not of this world to begin with, the abducting aliens soon discover the joke's on them and in a fit of anger, they redraw their plans and route the new hyperspace bypass directly through our corner of the galaxy thereby snuffing all life on Earth.

I wish ChadAndrewAmKon didn't have such a thing for evil klowns, even though they need loving too...

http://i233.photobucket.com/albums/ee162/21b45o13x25c54o34d45e/8140Evil-Clowns-Posters.jpg

[ChadAndrewAmKon]

"Granted... :smokin: Yeah right, bitch. C'mere and give Chaddy a kiss."

haha That's a great picture you posted, there.

Here's you and me in my dreams:

http://i296.photobucket.com/albums/mm162/RamboGoneWild/ClownMarriage.png (http://i296.photobucket.com/albums/mm162/RamboGoneWild/laughing20clowns_45ddc1515c53d.jpg)

-I'm just joshing with you-

I wish men would be more like women, and start reading more books, rather than watching more porn, than ever before.

[GhostOfCaptSpaulding]

So those were YOUR lipstick rings on my cawk!

In your dreams, of course...

Your wish is granted!

But they instead read more books on pr0n, leaving the pr0n sites floundering for revenue and the eventual demise of the internet as we know it.

I wish ChadAndrewAmKon had seen a pic of Buffo The World's Strongest Clown:

http://i233.photobucket.com/albums/ee162/21b45o13x25c54o34d45e/art/buffo.jpg

...before he fixated on Captain Spaulding The Worlds Kreepiest Klown.

http://i233.photobucket.com/albums/ee162/21b45o13x25c54o34d45e/SpauldingWMakeup.png